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In Dont Bury an Ailing Marriage, veteran psychologist Dr. Don D. Campbell goes beyond surface reasons for most relationship problemssuch as poor communication, financial issues, or sexual dysfunctionto diagnose the underlying causes of marital discord that prevent couples from achieving the happiness and fulfillment they desire and deserve. Several ailments and viruses are identified, but from among them Dr. Campbell identifies the most common and damaging virus of alla fear of closeness. He explains how the Fear of Closeness Virus is the underlying root for most symptoms within ailing marriages as well as how to effectively treat it to sustain emotional and physical intimacy through the years. The abundant information in the book is delivered with a sense of humor and illustrative stories as well as helpful Prescription Padsa series of exercises at the end of each chapter to help the reader apply the doctors advice and take proactive steps for positive change. Resist the temptation to call the mortician (lawyer) and prepare for the funeral (divorce). For virtually any marriage, regardless of its current state, put the shovel awayits not too late to resuscitate!
When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School
The 10 Keys to a Successful Remarriage Winner of the 2022 Independent Publisher Book Award in Gold for Self Help Winner of American Book Fest’s 2020 Best Book Award in “Self-Help: Relationships” Based on the author’s personal experience, over 30 years of clinical practice, knowledge from leading marriage and remarriage researchers, and 100 in-depth interviews of remarried people, The Remarriage Manual offers 10 essential keys to a successful remarriage: Build a Culture of Appreciation, Respect, and Tolerance. Negativity is toxic. Personal growth and love are possible when you can express appreciation through positive words and actions. Make Your Remarriage a Top Priority. Never underestimate the power of intentional time with your partner to increase physical and emotional intimacy. Ditch the Baggage from Your First Marriage. Learn ways to be more reflective and less reactive to triggers that hit raw spots or vulnerabilities stemming from prior relationships. Don’t Keep Secrets about Money. Remarried couples face complicated financial issues such as unequal assets, child support, alimony, and education costs for children and stepchildren. Honesty and full disclosure about finances are essential. Don’t Let Mistrust Stop You from Being Vulnerable and Emotionally Intimate. Learn that vulnerability and trust go hand in hand and the steps you can take to be authentic and intimate with your partner so you can achieve long-lasting love. Get Sexy and Fall in Love All Over Again. Given the stressors of a second marriage, it can be particularly challenging to stay sexually intimate. Yet moments of connection, such as touching, talking, or making love, are all part of the glue that holds a second marriage together. Don’t Make a Big Deal about Nothing . . . but Do Deal with Important Issues. Differences in beliefs, expectations, and conversational styles can cause you to blow things out of proportion and tune each other out. Effective communication will help you overcome these types of misunderstandings. Manage the Flames of Conflict. You can’t avoid disagreements entirely. What you can do, however, is learn how to manage them successfully to avoid the “blame game” so that they can nourish rather than drain your remarriage. Embrace Your Role as a Stepparent and Create Positive Stepfamily Memories. There is no such thing as instant love in a stepfamily. When biological parents are involved, the relationships can get even trickier. Learn to adjust to your role as a stepparent—the chances of a second marriage succeeding go way up when both partners adopt an attitude of “we’re in this together.” Say You’re Sorry and Mean It. Studies show that apologizing to your partner for hurting their feelings and granting forgiveness are crucial to the success of a second marriage. It’s essential that remarried couples learn the value of sincere apologies and forgiveness. Drawing on the experiences of dozens of couples and remarriage scenarios, Terry Gaspard shows you how to bring each key home and set up your relationship for lasting success. Whether you are thinking of remarrying and concerned about going the distance or are already remarried and struggling, The Remarriage Manual provides the expert advice, practical tools, hope, and inspiration you need to prevent challenges from becoming deal breakers. The 10 keys provided here will help put you and your spouse on solid footing; keep the flame between you burning bright; and build a deeply trusting, loving, and sustainable connection for the long haul.
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.
A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.
BOOKER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A novel that follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance: one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single setting, The Sense of an Ending has the psychological and emotional depth and sophistication of Henry James at his best, and is a stunning achievement in Julian Barnes's oeuvre. Tony Webster thought he left his past behind as he built a life for himself, and his career has provided him with a secure retirement and an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and daughter, who now has a family of her own. But when he is presented with a mysterious legacy, he is forced to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world.
Omartian shares how wives can develop a deeper relationship with their husbands by praying for them. Packed with practical advice on praying for specific areas, including decision-making, fears, spiritual strength, and sexuality, this book helps women discover the fulfilling marriage God intended.