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The second edition of Andrea Doucet's Do Men Mother? builds upon the award winning first edition to further illuminate fathers' candid reflections on caring and the intricate social worlds that men and women inhabit as they 'love and let go' of their children. Including interviews with over one hundred fathers - from truck drivers to insurance salesmen, physicians to artists - Doucet illustrates how men are breaking the mould of traditional parenting models. This edition expands her argument wider and deeper, building on changes to the theoretical work that informs the field, her own intellectual trajectory, and the fieldwork of revisiting six fathers and their partners a decade after her initial interviews. She continues to examine key questions such as: What leads fathers to trade earning for caring? How do fathers navigate through the 'maternal worlds' of mothers and infants? Are men mothering or are they redefining fatherhood? In asking and unravelling the question 'Do men mother?' this study tells a compelling story about Canadian parents radically re-envisioning child care and domestic responsibilities in the twenty-first century.
When a Woman Is in an Emotional Tug-of-War for Her Man's Heart Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: -- Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men -- Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage -- Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children When He's Married to Mom provides practical and compassionate advice to the women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, to the mothers who wish to set them free, and to the men themselves.
Whether he’s conscious of it or not, a man’s mother is the model for just about every relationship with a woman he has for the rest of his life. Sometimes it’s obvious (just ask his wife or girlfriend), sometimes it’s more subtle, but when you see it, it becomes crystal clear. For fifteen years, this book has helped men understand their mothers’ pervasive influence over the way they relate to women—both the positive and negative aspects of it. But more than that, it has helped thousands of men break free of old relationship patterns. Gurian gives men a wealth of practical exercises and meditations they can use to recognize their mothers’ influence in relationships, and to establish a healthy and rewarding new basis for relationships that will benefit themselves and the women in their lives as well. This new edition of the book formerly titled Mothers, Sons, and Lovers includes a new preface and study questions by the author.
Fathers have always parented differently than mothers. In Fatherneed, Dr. Kyle D. Pruett shows mothers and fathers why that difference is so important to a child's physical, cognitive, and emotional development. Drawing on more than two decades of highly acclaimed research at the Yale Child Study Center, and backed up by true stories from actual families, Fatherneed is the essential how-to guide for women and men who wish to promote engaged fathering. This book will help enable fathers to give their children the skills they need to develop into happy and healthy adults. Step by step, Dr. Pruett specifically addresses what a father can do to prepare his marriage, his house, and his emotions for his child's needs, from infancy through the toddler years, childhood, adolescence, and young and mature adulthood. With advice to fathers ranging from how to speak to toddlers so that they listen, to how to avoid the common tendency to reinforce gender stereotypes in young children, to how to maintain a connection with an increasingly autonomous teenager, Fatherneed is the perfect resource for all dads-including divorced fathers, fathers of adopted children, stepfathers, and fathers of special-needs children-as well as moms who want kids who are meaningfully connected to their fathers. With wit, authority, and compassion, Dr. Pruett shows how to be sure that your child gets what only a father can provide.
A collection of feminist essays steeped in “Solnit’s unapologetically observant and truth-speaking voice on toxic, violent masculinity” (The Los Angeles Review). In a timely and incisive follow-up to her national bestseller Men Explain Things to Me, Rebecca Solnit offers sharp commentary on women who refuse to be silenced, misogynistic violence, the fragile masculinity of the literary canon, the gender binary, the recent history of rape jokes, and much more. In characteristic style, “Solnit draw[s] anecdotes of female indignity or male aggression from history, social media, literature, popular culture, and the news . . . The main essay in the book is about the various ways that women are silenced, and Solnit focuses upon the power of storytelling—the way that who gets to speak, and about what, shapes how a society understands itself and what it expects from its members. The Mother of All Questions poses the thesis that telling women’s stories to the world will change the way that the world treats women, and it sets out to tell as many of those stories as possible” (The New Yorker). “There’s a new feminist revolution—open to people of all genders—brewing right now and Rebecca Solnit is one of its most powerful, not to mention beguiling, voices.”—Barbara Ehrenreich, New York Times–bestselling author of Natural Causes “Short, incisive essays that pack a powerful punch.” —Publishers Weekly “A keen and timely commentary on gender and feminism. Solnit’s voice is calm, clear, and unapologetic; each essay balances a warm wit with confident, thoughtful analysis, resulting in a collection that is as enjoyable and accessible as it is incisive.” —Booklist
The Male Mother book is first of a series of four that are designed to help men develop their feminine side. Men are largely unaware of their feminine side that has been ignored and denigrated by many in our modern world. This series of books The Real Men series because it addresses the need for men to become fully mature and effective adults. The Real Men series is about helping adult men develop and integrate their often-ignored feminine side. Otherwise, they are unable to meet many of the challenges of modern life, in general, and fatherhood, in particular. In order to meet these challenges, fathers need to acquire new skills in male mothering. One of the first challenges many adult men face is being able to be an effective father for their children. I have yet to meet a father who feels like he was well equipped for the job. This book presents a more complete picture of what mature adult fathers looks like. It is rare that fathers get this kind of information. Many men do not even know what a mature father looks like, because our culture paints men as macho, dominant, non-feeling critters. It also encourages men who have avoided and denigrated feminine aspects of their personality. This means being more in touch with their feelings and seeking committed, equalitarian, adult relationships. My research clearly suggests there is a rapidly emerging trend among younger men in our culture that supports being interested in developing and integrating their feminine side. This book presents a roadmap of the emerging feminine side of development for men to follow. Many men silently carry quilt and shame about what they did or did not do raising their children. This book shows fathers how to overcome their perceived failings as a father and describes the skills they need to help correct mistakes they may have made as a father. Fathers need the learn some of the following Male Mother skills: -Display genuine empathy toward their children when they are experiencing deep emotions. -Speak and act in ways that nurture their children. -Show compassion toward their children even when they oppose their father's ideas or requests. -Look their children in the eyes and connect with them as separate human beings. -Forgive their children's failings without judgment. -Give them emotional support, mirroring and unconditional love. -Negotiate to get their needs met without diminishing the needs of their children. -Create a lifestyle that models life-giving values, beliefs and behaviors toward humans, plants, animals and all creatures that are vulnerable and dependent. -Access to the "wisdom of the heart" or intuition to guide his decisions. This book will help you perform four important "initiations" for your children that provide the secure foundation they need to become responsible, mature adults. The four initiations are: -Cutting the Cord: Creating the Divine Family Triangle -Facilitating the Completion of the Psychological Birth of Your Children. -Helping Your Children Achieve Mastery of Everyday Tasks. -Helping Your Children Learn To Negotiate to Get Their Needs Met and How to Cooperate with Others. This book describes the essential skills and understandings you need to be effective as a father to your children. Even if your children are older, it is never too late to provide this support for them. Once you know what to do, you can find ways to fill in the developmental gaps in your children. One thing is for sure; they always will be your children no matter how old they are. It is never too late to for you to relate to your children or grandchildren as a Male Mother.
More and more, fathers are deciding to stay at home and care for their children rather than work full-time outside of the home. More and more, Canadian families are lead by single fathers. Shining a spotlight on the lives of stay at home dads and single fathers, Do Men Mother? provides groundbreaking evidence of dramatic changes in mothering and fathering in Canada. Using evidence gathered in a four-year in-depth qualitative study, including interviews with over 100 fathers - from truck drivers to insurance salesmen, physicians to artists - Andrea Doucet illustrates how men are breaking the mold of traditional parenting models. Doucet's research examines key questions such as: What leads fathers to trade earning for caring? How do fathers navigate through the 'maternal worlds' of mothers and infants? Are men mothering or are they redefining fatherhood? Do Men Mother? illuminates fathers' candid reflections on caring and the intricate social worlds that men and women inhabit as they 'love and let go' of their children. In asking and unravelling the question 'do men mother,' this study tells a compelling story about Canadian parents radically re-visioning child care and domestic responsibilities at the beginning of the twenty-first century.
As heard on NPR's "All Things Considered" and "This American Life, " Leveridge spins the mostly true tales of small-town Lotharios and big-city dreams in a voice that is simultaneously hip and homespun--and utterly his own. National Public Radio sponsorship.
An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships. Does this sound painfully familiar? Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors-and are unable to stop. Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes with being under-mothered and misdiagnosed. McDaniel offers a healing path with powerful tools that include therapeutic interventions and lifestyle changes in service to healthy relationships. The constant search for mother love can be a lifelong emotional burden, but healing begins with knowing and naming what we are missing. McDaniel is the first clinician to identify Mother Hunger, which demystifies the search for love and provides the compass that each woman needs to end the struggle with achy, lonely emptiness, and come home to herself.
Why do men do so little at home? Why do women do so much? Why don't our egalitarian values match our lived experiences? Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a clear-eyed look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents—how progressive relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls to women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers’ household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers’. How, in a culture that pays lip service to women’s equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these unmet expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground zero case study, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home?