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Millions of families strive to give their children the best possible upbringing after being split apart by divorce. Separated mothers and fathers -- and in many cases their second spouses -- struggle to find the right way to piece together parent-child relationships in its wake. In this revolutionary work, psychologist Sanford L. Braver -- who undertook the largest ever federally funded study on issues confronting divorced fathers -- shows how millions of well-intentioned mothers, fathers, judges, lawyers, educators, and other caregivers have been repeatedly and tragically misled by the prevailing data about divorce and parenthood.For years our society has accepted the image of the "dead-beat dad" who shirks childcare payments and other responsibilities. Yet Braver proves that this villainous figure -- like many other myths of the divorced parent -- simply does not exist in significant numbers. Moreover, Braver overturns one of the most important pieces of data on divorce in the past quarter-century: the belief that divorced women suffer a steep decline in their standard of living. This widely embraced notion was the result of misread data, but was transformed into "fact" by the media and the courts, and accepted by divorced families and their advocates.No other book has revealed the deep flaws in today's research on divorce. One-sided studies of divorced men and women, misused census data, and poor research have skewed many of the assumptions around which parents and courts have shaped divorce settlements, parenting responsibilities, and child-rearing decisions. Every divorced parent -- and anyone who loves a divorced parent -- urgently needs this book to understand the newrealities behind divorce and parenting. Notes. Index.
Positive advice for divorced dads and their families The country's leading authority on fathers' rights Jeffery M. Leving presents a definitive how-to resource for divorced dads of any age, background, and marriage history. Leving offers targeted guidance and suggests techniques for staying connected with children and dealing with ex-wives—and in some cases a new girlfriend or the wife's new boyfriend—during the divorce and afterwards. This upbeat book offers good news for divorced dads and counters many of the myths that paint divorcing fathers as alienated, irresponsible, or absent. Includes advice for overcoming limited access to children with cooperative responses and legal remedies if necessary Reveals how to avoid depression and feelings of guilt that can cause a divorced dad to give up and lose connection with his kids Offers ideas for responding to an ex-wife's remarriage, moving, unfounded accusations, and other common issues Contains guidance for engaging in new relationships and possibly remarriage How to Be a Good Divorced Dad is practical and down-to-earth and offers dozens of real life examples of dads who have discovered the importance of staying involved in their children's lives.
Don't Let Your Kids Slip Away after a Divorce! Divorce doesn't have to mean losing the relationship with your children. You can create even deeper emotional ties with them now than you had before. This easy-to-use guide gives you the tools that you'll need to stay bonded and connected with your kids now and in the years to come.
Alerts divorcing parents, especially fathers, to the hidden minefields of custody proceedings; offers practical recommendations for reform; sheds light on the real cause of fatherlessness in America today.
​ This book focuses on the experience of father's lives after a divorce, and how mental health professionals can help them create a healthy transition. Through the use of case examples critical issues are highlighted and discussed with supportive empirical findings and clinical insights. Traditionally, the marital legal sessions as well as the ultimate marriage settlement focus on the issues confronted by the ex-wife and mother and on the custody and visitation plan for the children. This is actually supported by law in some places. This can remove the father from important qualitative issues such as what it is like to have children in two households, relationships with two sets of grandparents, where holidays will be spent, fair rotations of responsibility and how continuing parental discord can be resolved. The issues examined in this volume are relevant to a range of professionals who deal with divorcing couples from psychologists and family therapists to legal advisors and judges.​
Your marriage may have ended, but your fatherhood has not. How can you stay an involved, caring dad in the aftermath of divorce when all kinds of obstacles appear, making you insecure and uncertain of your parenting skills? With advice and insight from psychologist and family therapist Kenneth N. Condrell, and from some of the ever-growing number of other divorced dads, this practical, insightful handbook will help you: -avoid the ten most common divorced dad pitfalls -adjust to family life after the custody agreement -handle school, homework, and extracurricular activities -strategize celebrations and holidays -deal with a child who rejects you -move on to dating and other relationships Let divorce be an opportunity for tremendous growth-and great parenting.
Whether sudden or years in the making, divorce can leave families with a lot of pain and uncertainty—and with the children in the mix, the stakes are even higher. Enter author Paul Mandelstein, the divorced father of four children and founder of the Father Resource Network (FRN). In The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce: A Guide to Co-Parenting for Divorced Dads, Mandelstein helps fathers (and mothers) discover a path to navigate the stormy waters of divorce and create a healthy extended family environment, guided by the principles of collaboration and cooperation. Packed with advice from family counseling experts, anecdotes from divorced parent groups, interviews with fathers, mothers, and children, and the author’s own first-hand experiences, The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce is a realistic, yet compassionate approach to parenting during and after divorce. The user-friendly format combines bulleted lists with practical suggestions, exercises, and even sample dialogues that make even the most difficult conversations with children and former spouses more manageable. Most importantly, this guidebook empowers men to be the best fathers they can be: fathers who are present and accountable, loving and leading, competent and caring.
Seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing? Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors--women and men, young and old, single and married--have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents' divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child's family impacts the human heart in universal ways.
Each member has their own unique place in a family. Ron Deal explores the myth of the "blended" family offering practical, realistic solutions for stepfamilies.
Diaries of a Forgotten Parent: Divorced Dads on Fathering Through and Beyond Divorce opens an intimate window on the lives of divorced men. Literature on divorce focuses primarily on its effects on women and children, but fair and personal accounts of the lived experiences of custodial and non-custodial fathers are less available. In this highly accessible text, ten American men share intensely personal reflections of guilt, pain, frustration, sacrifice, loneliness and pride. The men do not see themselves as exemplary; rather, their stories are graphically honest, revealing what Paterson calls ordinary men “with all their warts.” The author reviews significant works on the male experience of divorce from psychological, legal, educational and sociological experts, interspersing commentary and research with the men’s own voices. From the initial discussion of why men marry and why they divorce through the men’s painful memories of being pushed out of their children’s lives by angry and resentful mothers, the author illuminates the legal, fiscal, emotional and practical experiences of men struggling to reinvent their fathering while they find themselves reconfigured into deserters, deadbeats and visitors. The societal myth that fathers are less valuable parents than mothers is thoroughly deconstructed in this text. The book will help divorced and divorcing men and those who work with them to fully understand the experiences of fathers who never stopped loving and caring for their children, in spite of the fact that the contributions of fathers are still largely discounted by schools, courts, and worst of all, by their children’s mothers. From this book, readers will understand that there are just too many reasons why fathers must never be forgotten in the lives of their children.