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Whether it's dealing with a critical parent, an unkind spouse, unappreciative children, or a demanding boss, Dr. Jill Murray presents way to help readers recognize the patterns of destructive relationships and provides strategies for positive change.
Something Has to Change… You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to: · identify damaging behaviors · gain the skills to respond wisely · promote healthy change · stay safe · understand when, why, and even how to leave · recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future. “Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.” —Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women
Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to: Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt Confront and speak truth when the timing is right Determine when to keep trying, when to get out Get safe and stay safe Build an identity in Christ This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God's perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.
Do you want to reclaim your independence? Are you looking for guidance as you learn to set boundaries that actually serve you? If you're ready to let go of unhealthy relationships and begin your journey to healing, join Drs. Frank Minirth, Paul Meier, and Robert Hemfelt in Love Is a Choice as they walk you through their ten proven steps to recovering from codependency. In Love Is a Choice, Drs. Minirth, Meier, and Hemfelt combine decades of research with timeless biblical wisdom to show you that the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen your relationship with Christ Himself. Love Is a Choice will teach you why God wants us to be independent and why you deserve to have healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Throughout Love Is a Choice, Drs. Minirth, Meier, and Hemfelt will lead you through their method to overcoming codependency once and for all. Along the way, Love Is a Choice will give you the tools and encouragement you need to: Discover the root causes of codependency Surround yourself with a loving, supportive community See yourself in a new light Uncover your unmet emotional needs It's time to break the cycle of codependency. Let Love Is a Choice be your guide every step of the way.
Navigating Destructive Relationships is a 9-step support group curriculum to help process destructive relational patterns and identify key choice points for more productive responses.
You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In "The Life-Saving Divorce" You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books.
How to recognize and cope with Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS): negative thoughts and feelings about your children"
Featuring case vignettes from nearly 30 years of Dr. Yudofsky's clinical practice and incorporating the knowledge of gifted clinicians, educators, and research scientists with whom he has collaborated throughout that time, Fatal Flaws: Navigating Destructive Relationships With People With Disorders of Personality and Character uniquely captures the rapidly increasing body of clinical and research information about people with severe and persistent personality and character disorders. Within these pages, the author brings to life the psychopathologies of personality and character disorders through vivid vignettes based on composites of his many patients and their most important relationships -- while meticulously changing the identifying facts and relevant details to protect confidentiality. Covering the clinical course, treatment, genetics, biology, psychology, and destructive consequences of hysterical (histrionic), narcissistic, antisocial, paranoid, obsessive-compulsive, addictive, borderline, and schizotypal personality disorders, Fatal Flaws stands out in the literature for these powerful reasons: It is written for an unusually broad audience, from mental health students and trainees of all disciplines, to highly experienced clinicians, to patients who suffer from or are in destructive relationships with people with personality disorders. It is a hybrid -- part psychiatric textbook for clinicians and part self-help manual for patients and clients with personality and character disorders. It is designed to supplement treatment by providing patients with practical, evidence-based information about personality disorders and character flaws. It is particularly valuable to patients who are in psychotherapy, in part, because they are entangled in destructive relationships with people with disorders of personality and/or character. It is written in the first person, with the author directly communicating with a patient who either has a personality or character disorder or is in an important relationship with a person who has such a disorder. It is useful for people who are uncertain whether they or their loved ones have personality or character disorders, and who want to know more about these conditions and their treatments before making a decision about securing the help of a mental health professional. Fatal Flaws: Navigating Destructive Relationships With People With Disorders of Personality and Character is a compelling volume that provides the essential information and a realistic sense of the clinical experience required to inform, orient, and support novice mental health professionals and seasoned practitioners alike as they face the ongoing challenges of treating patients or clients with personality or character disorders. It should also prove to be an invaluable resource for those who wish practical and effective help in understanding and changing their destructive relationships with people who have severe and persistent disorders of personality and/or character.
Hidden forces—memories of past poor or hurtful relationships—drive repressed feelings and emotions that are often outside our awareness. Though we want to love and be loved, to nurture and be nurtured, those forces can wreak havoc and cause relationship sabotage, destroying couples and even whole families. The scenario is so common, explains therapist Matta, that often people get divorced without even fully understanding why, or what is was that came between them. In many cases, what it was were the lingering but unconscious memories of lessons learned as far back as childhood. These lessons may have no true bearing or justification in the current relationship, yet they can strongly affect it, fueling marital games, extra-marital affairs, addictions, poor parenting practices and a host of other harmful actions. Matta argues that we can learn to recognize these imprints and move past them to build or keep rewarding relationships. His book makes us aware, and gives us the tools to break the cycle.
Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 Repentance for Terri would involve developing courage so that she could stand up and confront John’s overbearing behavior. She would also need to work hard to rediscover and name her own thoughts, feelings, and ideas rather than always deferring to her husband’s. #2 When someone deeply betrays us and will not take responsibility for the deception, the relationship itself may be beyond repair. But you can learn from this situation and move ahead into new relationships with more wisdom. #3 If you are in a destructive relationship, you can change it. First, you must recognize what’s wrong, because you can’t change what you don’t see. With God’s help, change, growth, and healing are possible. #4 All relationships will experience pain, and it is not proof of a bad relationship or even a harmful one. Pain is a natural part of life, and it is not always caused by others. It is up to us to decide whether our relationships are relatively healthy, if sometimes difficult, or unhealthy and destructive.