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There's more than one way to keep a vampire up all night. I swore I was over clingy men—I have enough to deal with taking care of my own damn self—so I decided to give up dating until the gene pool markedly improved. But then I happened to share a toe-curling kiss with a sexy Irish vampire (What? It was an accident! My lips fell on his!), and it became obvious the problem wasn't men—the problem was human men. Unfortunately, right after my revelation about gorgeous vampires and their excellent tongue game, my "future boyfriend" disappeared. Way to make me feel unwelcome! What's a girl to do? Join V-Date, the popular vampire dating site, obviously. How else was I supposed to find my Irish delight other than to let the vampire community know I was on the hunt for him? Yeah, yeah, okay, maybe not the best idea considering there was some sort of human recruiting going on, but hey, at least he can come to my rescue now...I hope. Praise for Juliet Lyons's paranormal romance Dating the Undead: "Quick, sharp wit that sinks its fangs into the reader and doesn't let go!"—MOLLY HARPER, acclaimed author of Sweet Tea and Sympathy and the Half-Moon Hollow series
Fantasy-roman.
They're drop-dead handsome—and we're not kidding! Welcome to the first and only guide devoted to loving the immortal man in all of his furry, feathery, fiery glory. Here is a forbidden-fruit salad of features, fiction, fashion, and more, including: –Lipstick on His Collar Is your immortal just a little bit…immoral? –Angel in the Kitchen Heavenly dishes that don'y take an eternity to prepare –A Kiss Is Not Just A Kiss Immortals we crave divulge their lip-smacking turn-ons –Undead & Well-Read What's hot between the covers this month –A View from a Guy Zombie Jack's turn –Immorstrology Our indispensable guide to heavenly bodies
SHE’D LIKE HER BLOOD BOTTLED, PLEASE! The sassiest vampire in all of Manhattan, Lil Marchette, is the owner of Dead End Dating–a matchmaking service for hip, intelligent singles like herself. After only three months, business is booming, and she can finally pay her bills (or, more important, feed a hungry cosmetics addiction). But when one of her clients turns up dead (as in never coming back), Lil is named as the prime suspect. Murder? Sure, she’s a vampire, but she can’t even work up her nerve when it comes to blood-sucking. Hacking somebody to pieces is so out of the question. To make matters worse, Lil must also contend with a pack of werewolves who ask–no, demand–that she find each one a tall, dark, and handsome mate before the next full moon. Plus, the to-die-for-if-I wasn’t-already-dead Ty Bonner, a lusciously sexy lover but totally unsuitable eternity mate, is never far from her midnight fantasies. But Lil has no time for such thoughts. She must prove her innocence and focus on pairing off the dead and the furry–and maybe stake a claim to her own tasty true love. “Kimberly Raye is hot, hot, hot!” –Vicki Lewis Thompson, author of Nerds Like It Hot
Just because youre a reanimated corpse doesnt mean you cant fall in love--as this hilarious dating guide parody proves. Dating is tough, but hooking up when youre undead can be a nightmare. Its hard enough to meet that special something without having to worry about fetid breath, angry mobs, and missing (ahem) appendages. And if you do score a night on the prowl with the zombie of your dreams, youll face all the usual dating concerns, and then some: How soon is too soon to call after a first date? Whats the best cover-up for a shotgun wound: plaster or caulk? And whats the proper dining etiquette when your meal tries to call the authorities? Filled with insightful advice, tips, quizzes, charts, and more, Zombie Love is sure to help any walking corpse find a soul mate and possibly even a happily ever afterlife.
The proprietor of Dead End Dating, a matchmaking service for hip Manhattan vampires, Liz Marchette faces new challenges when one of her undead clients turns up really dead and she becomes a prime suspect in the crime, a pack of werewolves demands that she find them mates before the next full moon, and the sexy but unsuitable Ty Bonner. Original.
SWIPE RIGHT FOR MR. BITE Mila Hart's first experience with the hot new vampire dating site is a complete disaster. Turns out, her date is wanted for murder! Not exactly the object of attraction she'd been dreaming of. But things turn around when she's rescued by dashing vampire cop Vincent Ferrer. Dangerous and drop-dead gorgeous, he's just the American vampire hottie Mila was hoping for. Haunted by his past, Vincent can't risk falling in love again, even if Mila charms him more than anyone he's ever met. But when the killer from Mila's first date seeks her out, Vincent is the only one who can protect her. Protecting his heart is a different story... What People Are Saying About Dating the Undead: "Quick, sharp wit that sinks its fangs into the reader and doesn't let go!"—MOLLY HARPER, acclaimed author of the Half-Moon Hollow and Naked Werewolf series "A fresh spin on the vampire romance."—Kirkus "A madcap adventure of biting humor, steamy chemistry...and some over-the-top antics."—RT Book Reviews "Charming and racy romance meets rousing mystery."—Publishers Weekly
Divalicious darling of the undead Lil Marchette is this close to finding her own happily-ever-after with hunky live-in bounty hunter Ty Bonner. Unfortunately, reality is biting back in a big way. Lil’s got mounting bills to pay and clients to keep happily hooked up courtesy of Dead End Dating, the ultimate meet-and-greet for New York’s fanged, furry, and fabulous. But leave it to a drop-dead gorgeous eight-hundred-year-old warlock with a big-girl fetish to take the biggest chomp out of Lil’s happiness by kidnapping Esther Crutch, one of Lil’s plus-size clients, now stamped as Grade-A Ritual Meat. Leaving Ty warming the bed, Lil races to rescue Esther’s curvy behind before she’s turned into a Mayan sacrifice. The trail leads to Texas–hell by any other name–and as if dust, demons, and hopelessly outdated fashion weren’t bad enough, fate gives Lil an unexpected partner: her mom, who is on a mission to meddle (as usual) and grab a little mother-daughter time. Will Lil remain calm in the face of smotherly love and save Esther–or will her client bite the dust?
"Looking For Love?""Tired Of The Undead Bar Scene?""Ready To Meet Your One True Mate?""Well Give Mandy A Call At The Undead Dating Agency!""We'll Find Your One True Mate, Money Back Guarantee!"Janis Kelly read the ad hanging on the window of her favorite restaurant and thought that Mandy person must be insane! Janis was a 433-year-old vampire. 412 years as a vampire. Hundreds of years, and she still hadn't found her true mate. That's because he didn't exist. It's not that Janis didn't date, or have an occasional long-term relationship, it's just that she hadn't met her "one true mate" yet. The ancients say that we all have one true mate. I say the ancients are nuts. "Oh well, I haven't been on a date in six months, I'll call Ms. Mandy and at least go on some dates. The flyer had little pieces hanging on the bottom with the name of the business and a phone number. Janis pocketed it and went inside to get her lunch.Vampires had lived among humans throughout time. They didn't exactly live in the shadows, but no one could know their secret either. That's why they finally decided to come out of the shadows. Humans took it pretty good. Well, most humans. Some still tried to kill us. That was pretty amusing to watch. Humans are silly beings and they believed all the myths about us. They didn't realize that all the myths about us were created by the ancient's years ago. They wanted to be sure we were safe if someone found out about us. So, yea, stakes to the heart? Won't work. Garlic? The ancients were created in Italy, we all love Italian food. Sunlight? Again, no. How do you think we were all able to live among you and not be found out? Most of us actually love the sun. That's why so many of us live in places like Hawaii. Oh yea, if you live in Hawaii, you probably know many vampires. Crosses? No, God loves us too, therefore he didn't create something that would kill us. It was all great fun to watch though. None of us took it personally when someone tried to kill us, after all we kind of expected it. Wait...did I say none of us took it personally? Okay, most of us didn't take it personally.But enough about that. This vamp needs to go on a date, damn it! I at least needed to find a friend with benefits! Janis went in to drink her lunch and as soon as she got home she would call Mandy from the Undead Dating Agency.While Janis is looking for her one true mate, her best friend, Magdalena Serpentine, Maggie for short, is having a problem that she needs help with. Maggie is a very powerful witch, and the head of the witches council. A young witch has cast a spell that could affect the entire paranormal community. Not only do Maggie and the two other members of the witches council, Ollie and Sarafina, need to find a way to deal with this new witch so she makes no more mistakes like this, they also need to find a way to stop the spell before all hell breaks loose on earth.The different species in the paranormal community rarely work well together. However, if they don't play nice now and come together as one, all of earth may suffer. Even the hell hounds will be helping with this one! But can the supernatural community do it alone? Or would a little help from a human or two help? Ollie's girlfriend, the slightly crazy, slightly eccentric, Alex Marley be along for the ride! She's been in a wheelchair for years, but that doesn't stop her from coming to the rescue when needed. She has a heart of gold and swears like a sailor. She's complicated and oh so much fun! Did I mention they'll be calling on Satan for a little help? Will Janis be able to find her one true mate AND help this motley crew find a way to save earth before it's too late? She's praying she can!
Gigi finds herself drawn to a sexy vampire who keeps fading in and out of her life, but when he denies ever meeting her, Gigi begins to wonder if something sinister may be involved in his lack of memory.