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“Family” is a loaded term, laden with connotations of commitment, honor, loyalty, and sacrifice. Healthy members make sacrifices for each other, not sacrifices on each other’s health, wellness, and safety. Making the decision to cut ties with a family member is also a matter of commitment, honor, and loyalty. You are to stick to your commitment to yourself, to your recovery, your health, and your wellness. You are honoring your experience in life, the truth of how you feel, and the decisions you are empowered to make- all things you have dutifully regained through your hard work in recovery. Your loyalty to your family is important. However, if you have lived with sustained abuse which has caused you to struggle with symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, you never have to be loyal to that kind of trauma. Making the decision to cut ties with a family member is hard to do. You want to love them, support them, forgive them, and be compassionate. From a distance, you can still do all of those things.
A psychologist offers a roadmap for those looking to break free of toxic family relationships and thrive in the aftermath. Toxic family abuse is always two-fold. The first layer of abuse is the original poor treatment by toxic family members, and the second is someone’s denial of the ways in which abusers treat and harm them. Loving someone doesn’t always mean having a relationship with them, just like forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. A significant part of healing comes with accepting that there are some relationships that are so poisonous that they destroy one’s ability to be healthy and function best. But It’s Your Family is a remarkable account of what it means to cut ties to toxic family abuse and thrive in the aftermath. Inside, Dr. Sherrie Campbell clarifies: · How parents, adult children, siblings, grandparents, and in-laws can be toxic · The difference between flawed and toxic family members · Explaining the cutting of ties to children and others who may not understand · Spiritual and religious views on forgiveness · The definition of cutting ties and what No Contact actually means When readers are able to bring closure to those toxic relationships, they give themselves the space to love those family members from a distance, as fellow human beings, with the knowledge that it is unwise to remain connected. Readers learn how to love themselves in the process and fundamentally change their lives for the better!
A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.
Cutting ties with a toxic family member is a crucial step away from a legacy of dysfunction and toward healing and happiness. This compassionate guide will help you embrace your decision with a sense of pride, validation, and faith in yourself; and provides powerful tools for creating boundaries, coping with judgment, and overcoming self-doubt. Do you have a toxic family member? Do you feel like cutting ties with this person—even as painful and scary as that may sound—would dramatically increase your well-being and improve your life? You’re not alone. Severing ties with a family member can be devastating; and cutting this toxic person out of your life may bring up feelings of guilt and uncertainty—especially if you feel judged by others regarding your decision. Fortunately, you can free yourself from this toxic family member in a healthy, responsible, and liberating way. In Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members, psychologist and toxic-family survivor Sherrie Campbell offers effective strategies for setting strong boundaries after ending contact with a toxic family member, and provides powerful tools to help you heal from shame, self-doubt, and stigma. You’ll find the validation you need to embrace your decision with pride and acknowledgement of your self-worth. You’ll learn how to let go of negative thoughts and feelings. And finally, you’ll develop the skills needed to rediscover self-care, self-love, self-reliance, and healthy loving relationships. Whether you’re ready to sever ties with a toxic family member, or already have, this book will help guide you, every step of the way.
A warm, empathetic guide to understanding, coping with, and healing from the unique pain of sibling estrangement "Whenever I tell people that I am working on a book about sibling estrangement, they sit up a little straighter and lean in, as if I've tapped into a dark secret." Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of forty years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research, interviewing psychologists and estranged siblings as well as recording the extraordinary story of her own rift with her brother--and subsequent reconciliation. Brothers, Sisters, Strangers is the result--a thoughtfully researched memoir that illuminates both the author's own story and the greater phenomenon of estrangement. Chapman helps readers work through the challenges of rebuilding a sibling relationship that seems damaged beyond repair, as well as understand when estrangement is the best option. It is at once a detailed framework for understanding sibling estrangement, a beacon of solidarity and comfort for the estranged, and a moving memoir about family trauma, addiction, grief, and recovery.
The purpose of this book is to set you free to be who you really are. As you love who you are you will find that you move through life holding your head slightly high and your chest will be expanded and open for love and receiving. Your neck will be long and lean, your throat open showing you are always ready to share and relate. You will know who you are and therefore will feel comfortable to be fully expressed. You will no longer worry about what others think of you. Why? Because you love yourself flaws and all. When you love your Self, and have your boundaries in place, there is not much that can take you off center for too long. This book encourages you to shine in your own full expression in this beautiful life where you know you are loved just for being exactly who you are.
A pocket coach to help you heal and set necessary boundaries—from a clinical psychologist and fellow survivor of a toxic family. Your Pocket Therapist is the powerful follow up to But It’s Your Family, providing the reader with quick hacks to deal with the toxic people in their lives, all the while empowering themselves. Each devotional within Your Pocket Therapist reads like an actual therapy session where it builds upon the strategies used to cope with toxic people. It is designed to bring the reader into a deeper and deeper understanding of the strategies being presented so they are second nature and easy to apply. Within Your Pocket Therapist, Dr. Sherrie Campbell reveals: Quick hacks to dealing with toxic people Practical empowerment strategies to deal with manipulation Simple mindsets that equip readers to know what to do and say in toxic relationships Practical steps to help readers find a way out of toxic ties How to utilize withdrawal and silence as superpowers when dealing with toxic people Praise for Dr. Sherrie Campbell’s Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members “A must-read . . . Each chapter of her book offers profound insights into the most common struggles faced by adult survivors of toxic family dynamics.” —Kim Saeed, author of How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! “Sherrie Campbell offers a unique and true-to-life view of what it means to separate yourself from toxic family members . . . In this book, you are given full permission to feel what you were never allowed to feel or speak about.” —Jack Canfield, coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series
Learn hands-on coping strategies for managing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and other mental health concerns with this “compassionate” guide from a licensed therapist and YouTube personality (John Green). Get answers to your most common questions about mental health and mental illness -- including anxiety, depression, bipolar and eating disorders, and more. Are u ok? walks readers through the most common questions about mental health and the process of getting help -- from finding the best therapist to navigating harmful and toxic relationships and everything in between. In the same down-to-earth, friendly tone that makes her videos so popular, licensed marriage and family therapist and YouTube sensation Kati Morton clarifies and destigmatizes the struggles so many of us go through and encourages readers to reach out for help.
BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Dr. Susan Forward's Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. When you were a child... Did your parents tell you were bad or worthless? Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you? Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems? Were you frightened of your parents? Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret? Now that you are an adult... Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child? Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents? Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money? Do you feel that no matter what you do, it's never good enough for your parents? In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward drawn on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents -- and discover an exciting new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
"Highly irreverent, but filled with wisdom and infused with deep caring, Mixed Nuts is a memoir of a life working in psychotherapy." "Some people assume that all therapists are new-agey hand-holders who just listen and nod like bobbleheads, then suggest an astrology reading, a gluten-free diet, and your choice of complimentary love flower or polished healing stone on your way out the door. That's not me. My job is to help fix what's broken." Speaking to the layperson and the practitioner alike, even Rick's signature humor can't hide his deep understanding of mental illness, his desire to help heal it quickly and effectively, and his pragmatic and often creative approach to treatment."