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Around 2,000 jokes, puns and poems of cringe-worthy silliness - and one piece of advice: If at first you don't succeed ... forget skydiving. Dad jokes at their very worst - dive in, cringe and, above all, be amused. But if you have wondered about these questions: What would happen if there were no hypothetical situations? Why didn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do fridges have a light but freezers don't? Do you get repossessed if you don't pay an exorcist? Then this book isn't for you as it doesn't have any answers."
SpongeBob and his fellow residents of Bikini Bottom retell embarrassing moments.
It's the year 2810, and a virus called The Cringe is plaguing the Earth. Two siblings, Rivela and Gideous Gray, suspect a conspiracy is going on, and believe that this virus is not a regular one, but is manmade. They set out on a quest to release the antidote for the virus, and are met with several challenges. Can two kids save the world from an abhorrent, deadly virus? Find out for yourself and read this action-packed story written by an eleven-year-old gifted writer.
No One Is Safe from Awkward! Ending a first date that falls flat. Drunk-texting your boss. Walking in when your roommate is getting it on. Running into the person you just dumped . . . in the grocery store, an hour after it went down. Awkward bombs can drop anytime, anywhere, and with anyone—people you don’t know, people you see occasionally, and people you see every day. They can sneak up on you and explode in the most unexpected of places, so they’re basically impossible to avoid. The vast majority of us don’t have the wherewithal to gracefully handle the truly and totally awkward as it unfolds. We only realize what we should have said after the fact—when the damage has already been done and we’re a hot mess of embarrassment, red ears, and nervous sweat stains. But author Sam Scholfield has survived more than two decades of embarrassing encounters—and now, in an act of extreme generosity, has set down a wealth of witty comebacks, surefire distraction techniques, and suave evasion strategies so that future generations may take heed and dodge the Awkward Monster before it strikes! So how do you avoid the epic cluster of drama that can result when awkward situations are handled badly? You read this book.
Apart from Amaryllis, the Flowerdew family is seriously uncool. Things even manage to go from bad to worse. Her Dad wins a major competition with a painting of a naked lady who resembles Amaryllis's mum. How can any self-respecting teenager-to-be cope with this kind of humiliation?
From the USA Today–bestselling authors of Stand Your Ground comes the explosive story of a liberal college under siege—and freedom under fire. Former Army Ranger Jake Rivers is not your typical Kelton College student. He is not spoiled, coddled, or ultra-lib like his classmates who sneer at the “soldier boy.” But regardless of his differences with the rest of the student body, he needs an education. And when terror strikes, the school needs Jake. Without warning, the sounds of gunfire plunge the campus into a battle zone. A violent gang of marauders invade the main hall, taking students hostage for ransom. As a veteran and patriot, Jake won’t give in to their demands. But to fight back, he needs to enlist his fellow classmates and school them in the not-so-liberal art of war. This time, the aggression isn’t “micro.” It’s life or death. And only the strong survive.
“Covenant is [Stephen R.] Donaldson's genius!”—The Village Voice He called himself Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, because he dared not believe in this strange alternate world on which he suddenly found himself. Yet the Land tempted him. He had been sick; now he seemed better than ever before. Through no fault of his own, he had been outcast, unclean, a pariah. Now he was regarded as a reincarnation of the Land's greatest hero—Berek Halfhand—armed with the mystic power of White Gold. That power alone could protect the Lords of the Land from the ancient evil of the Despiser, Lord Foul. Except that Covenant had no idea how to use that power. . . .
Life is full of awkward, cringe moments that people go through daily. Whether it be making quick eye contact with a stranger, messing up a handshake with somebody, or walking past two people making out, these little uncomfortable moments are universally relatable. We don't shine light on them nearly enough as we should, so I've created a list of twenty-seven cringe worthy moments. Come on a journey with me as I dissect these situations. I provide example scenarios as well as personal opinions and experiences.
I want to be direct, my name is Greg. I go by “Onision” online. This book is made up of events that occurred in my own life mixed with fiction from the made up life of James. James is essentially a better version of myself. His home, his school & his life all resemble my own at his age. The people James analyzes and is surrounded by are not so unlike those I’ve known as well. I have experienced much of the loss James has however his happier moments are more often than not also mine. I want to share my story without it being purely non-fiction. I simply felt this approach would make for a far better book. Stones to Abbigale is not just my book, it is a piece of who I am.
Re-enter the wonderfully melodramatic world of the teenage mind as Cringe provides a glimpse of the adolescent experience in all its navel-gazing glory.