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You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship. The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most. This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The revised edition of the bestselling Christian guide to a happy marriage For more than fifteen years, Scott Stanley's A Lasting Promise has offered solutions to common problems—facing conflicts, problem solving, improving communication, and dealing with core issues—within a Christian framework. Thoroughly revised and updated, this new edition is filled with sacred teachings of scripture, the latest research on marriage, and clear examples from the lives of couples. The book's strategies are designed to help couples improve communication, understand commitment, bring more fun into their relationship, and enhance their sex lives. Lead author Scott Stanley is co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver and coauthor of Fighting for Your Marriage, which has sold more than a million copies. Offers reflections on how to enhance anyone's marriage over the long term and avoid divorce Covers recent cultural shifts, such as dealing with the endless technological distraction and issues with social networking New themes include the chemistry of love, the life-long implications of having bodies, and how to support one another emotionally Uses illustrative examples from couples’ lives and rich integration of insights from scripture This important book offers an invaluable resource for all couples who want to honor and preserve the holy sacrament of their union.
"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.
In a dramatic theoretical breakthrough, psychologist Susan M. Heitler unties various schools of therapy with a powerful insight. Emotional healing depends on movement from conflict to resolution, as the title suggests.
The Four Laws of Love represents the culmination of Jimmy Evans’ influential career. In this deeply personal book, Jimmy Evans outlines the foundational pillars upon which God designed marriage. Without holding back, he tells the story of his own marriage, which was hurtling toward divorce until this self-proclaimed “bad husband” came to recognize and put into practice these four laws. This book sounds a wake-up call for every kind of marriage, including those that are barely surviving and those that seem to operate on autopilot. Couples who follow these simple guidelines ― recognizing the original intent and purpose of marriage―will inject new life into their unions. They’ll see hurting marriages find healing and watch good marriages become great. Each revitalized relationship will play a part in restoring marriage to its sacred role at the center of human civilization.
Imago Relationship Therapy It's been more than three decades since Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt—the best-selling authors of Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find—created Imago Relationship Therapy. Their concept of the "conscious marriage" introduced a new paradigm for understanding the dynamics of couples. Since that time more than two thousand clinicians in twenty-eight countries have adopted and implemented this highly effective form of couples therapy. This groundbreaking book offers an overview of the highly successful Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) and the relationship of IRT with preceding schools of thought such as psychoanalytic theory, family systems theories, affect theory, and self-psychology. At the heart of IRT is a three-step process involving mirroring (reflecting) the partner's feelings, validating the partner's point of view, and expressing empathy toward the partner's feelings. Imago Relationship Therapy traces IRT's history and explosive growth and outlines the differences and similarities between Imago theory and other models of couples therapy. The book also presents some of the ideas of prominent Imago thinkers, such as the central role of connectivity and the problem of envy in committed relationships. "A uniquely important book for the practitioner, which provides clinical wisdom and a rare look into the heart and soul of Imago Relationship Therapy." —Pat Love, Ed.D., author, The Truth About Love
This vol investigates couple conflict, in both it's damaging & constructive incarnations, with an eye toward its effects on the couples, their families and the broader community. Written by & for family specialists, developmental & clinical psychologists
Problems that "just won't go away" can be settled through methods developed by one of America's leading experts in conflict resolution. In clear language, Weeks shows readers how to turn conflict into lasting partnerships and ensure a fruitful outcome.
Dr. Ladd has written a reference book on couples counseling that explores six contemporary relationships and discusses how couples may change from one to another according to their life experiences. In addition, six common styles of conflict resolution are addressed that may make relationship changes less painful and difficult are also addressed. When we realize that one of the most common methods for transforming the union between two people is through divorce, then the possibility of changing a relationship, instead of changing a partner, may become a more attractive alternative.