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Catching Your Breath in Grief ...and grace will lead you home is a one-of-a-kind, heart-to-heart invitation to reflect on essential realities of life, deep human needs in soul and spirit, agonies of loss, and the hope and meaning possible in dark times. Written by Thomas Attig, a leading scholar in the field of death, dying, and bereavement, it is a remarkably accessible, even lyrical, treatment of profound truths from philosophy, depth psychology, and spirituality. Its combination of engaging text and uncannily matched, exquisite photographs is unique. As the author reflects on aspects of a universal story whose themes thread through the world's great spiritual and religious traditions, he invites readers to join in wondering about their own personal losses, loves, and lives. And he guides them in seeking hopeful paths to walk in the next chapters of their own life stories. About the Author: THOMAS ATTIG, PhD, is an applied philosopher and author of "How We Grieve: Relearning the World" (revised edition, 2011) and "The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love" (2000), both published by Oxford University Press. A Past President of the Association for Death Education and Counseling and recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award from The International Network on Personal Meaning, Tom Attig now lives in Victoria, British Columbia where he continues writing and teaching on-line. He invites you to visit his web site at www.griefsheart.com. About the Photographer: WILLIAM RATHJE, PhD (1945-2012), was a renowned archaeologist best known for The Garbage Project, using archaeological methods to mine landfills for insight into contemporary culture. His photos appeared in National Geographic, Natural History, and Shambala Sun. He photographed the natural world to provide vivid emotional connections with the assimilation of life's ups and downs. See "Remembering Bill" at www.griefsheart.com.
Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. ~Psalm 34:1718, The Message translation Has grief knocked your breath out of you? Everybody experiences grief, loss, and life challenges throughout their lives. Most are unprepared for their grief and the impact it will have. Grief is brutal and has a way of making you feel as though everything good in your life is slowly being crushed, leaving you gasping for air. Although painful to experience, grief is one of the most powerful teachers you can learn from. When one goes through grief or loss, the invaluable opportunity to understand, love, and know God better immediately beginsHe is the key to creating a fuller, more purposeful life in spite of grief. In Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You, K.B.H. Niles transparently shares her experiences with grief and loss. She reveals how her relationship with God helped her grieve multiple deaths, including the deaths of her sister, father, and grandparents, after she found God in the midst of her pain. How do you get your breath back after life knocks it out of you? K.B.H. Niles explains key "oxygens" God revealed to her as she studied His Word during times of intense grief. In Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You, you will find how to: Develop a treasured relationship with God Regain your faith and hope Resolve bitterness, guilt, and regrets Find the encouragement you need during grief Understand the importance of relationships Value God's time through grief and life Realize the importance of grieving in your own unique way Develop gratefulness, thankfulness, and praise Experience wellness, traditions, and enjoyment Create a fuller, more purposeful life
If we wish to understand loss experiences we must learn details of survivors' stories. The new version of How We Grieve: Relearning the World tells in-depth tales of survival to illustrate the poignant disruption of life and suffering that loss entails. It shows how through grieving we overcome challenges, make choices, and reshape our lives. These intimate treatments of coping with loss address the needs of grieving people and those who hope to support and comfort them. The accounts promote understanding of grieving itself, encourage respect for individuality and the uniqueness of loss experiences, show how to deal with helplessness in the face of "choiceless" events, and offer guidance for caregivers. The stories make it clear that grieving is not about living passively through stages or phases. We are not so alike when we grieve; our experiences are complex and richly textured. Nor is grieving about coming down with "grief symptoms". No one can treat us to make things better. No one can grieve for us. Grieving is instead an active process of coping and relearning how to be and how to act in a world where loss transforms our lives. Loss forces us to relearn things and places; relationships with others, including fellow survivors, the deceased, even God; and our selves, our daily life patterns, and the meanings of our life stories. This revision adds an introductory essay about developments in the author's thinking about grieving as "relearning the world." It highlights and clarifies its most distinctive and still salient themes. It elaborates on how his thinking about these themes has expanded and deepened since the first edition. And it places his treatment of those themes in the broader context of current writings on grief and loss.
" ""One of the meditations from Catch Your Breath cited in Oprah Magazine"" Whether you have chosen to be a caregiver or were hijacked by circumstances, Catch Your Breath, a series of touching meditations by Linda Spalla, will become a wisp of sanity and a day-to-day stabilizer. Spalla retraces an eight month care-giving journey with her mother, captured in raw, candid images, truly becoming a walk in her shoes. What started as a thirty-days-to-live commitment of care in her home turned into an unexpected eight months of never-ending responsibility. You will feel a kinship with the roller coaster of emotions; from anger, confusion, surprise, resentment, guilt and ambivalence, to finally relief, recovery and celebration. You will learn through the various vignettes some refreshingly practical information on such topics as finding sitters, managing medicine, dealing with sibling rivalry, contracting with Hospice, moving to assisted living, doing will preparation and other legalities as well as funeral planning. You will laugh; you will sob; your heart will soar; your heart will break. You will find solace, encouragement and inspiration for one of life's most daunting challenges. But especially, you will discover your best self, emerging stalwart, strong and forged by the fire of your caregiving experience. Give yourself a gift of renewal and Catch Your Breath. "
In The Heart of Grief, Attig gives us an inspiring and profoundly insightful meditation on the meaning of grief, showing how it can be the path toward a lasting love of those who have died. Recounting dozens of stories of people who have struggled with deaths in their lives, he describes grieving as a transition from loving in presence to loving in separation. The thing we long for most--the return of the one who is missing--is the very thing that we can never have, kindling the intense pain of our loss. But Attig argues that we can, in fact, build an enduring, even reciprocal, love, a love that tempers our pain. He tells stories, for instance, of a young girl taking some of her dead sister's practical advice as she enters high school, a widower realizing how much intimate life with his wife has colored his character, and an athlete drawing inspiration from his dead brother and achieving what they had dreamed of together. Far from forgetting our loved ones, Attig urges us to explore ways in which our memories of the departed can be sustained, our understanding of them enhanced, and their legacies embraced, so they continue to play active roles in our everyday and inner lives. Groundbreaking and original, inspiring and compassionate, The Heart of Grief offers guidance, comfort, and a new understanding of how we grieve.
When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted. After all, when an adult sibling dies, he or she often leaves behind parents, a spouse, and even children—all of whom suffer a more socially recognized type of loss. Based on the author's own experiences, as well as those of many others, Surviving the Death of a Sibling helps adults who have lost a brother or sister to realize that they are not alone in their struggle. Just as important, it teaches them to understand the unique stages of their grieving process, offering practical and prescriptive advice for dealing with each stage. In Surviving the Death of a Sibling, T.J. Wray discusses: • Searching for and finding meaning in your sibling's passing • Using a grief journal to record your emotions • Choosing a grief partner to help you through tough times • Dealing with insensitive remarks made by others Warm and personal, and a rich source of useful insights and coping strategies, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a unique addition to the literature of bereavement.
This innovative volume examines the phenomenological, existential and cultural dimensions of grief experiences. It draws on perspectives from philosophy, psychology and sociocultural studies to focus on the experiential dimension of grief, moving beyond understanding from a purely mental health and psychiatry perspective. The book considers individual, shared and collective experiences of loss. Chapters explore the intersections between the profound existential experiences of bereavement and how this is mediated by sociocultural norms and practices. It points to new directions for the future conceptualization and study of grief, particularly in the experiential dimension. Drawing on a range of interdisciplinary perspectives, this important book will appeal to academics, researchers and students in the fields of death and bereavement studies, wellbeing and mental health, philosophy and phenomenological studies.
**THE MILLION COPY BESTSELLER** 'Rattling. Heartbreaking. Beautiful,' Atul Gawande, bestselling author of Being Mortal What makes life worth living in the face of death? At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade's training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, the next he was a patient struggling to live. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi's transformation from a medical student asking what makes a virtuous and meaningful life into a neurosurgeon working in the core of human identity - the brain - and finally into a patient and a new father. Paul Kalanithi died while working on this profoundly moving book, yet his words live on as a guide to us all. When Breath Becomes Air is a life-affirming reflection on facing our mortality and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a gifted writer who became both. 'A vital book about dying. Awe-inspiring and exquisite. Obligatory reading for the living' Nigella Lawson
GIVE YOUR CHILDREN WHAT THEY NEED MOST When Julia Wilcox Rathkey lost her husband, her three children lost their father. Within hours, it became sharply clear that each child--a twelve-year-old daughter and twin ten-year-old sons--would grieve the loss in a radically different way. While one harbored anger, another experienced denial, and the third was gripped with fear. Rathkey quickly determined that each youngster would require a different response from the adults in their lives, particularly from her. But despite the array of emotions and reactions, Rathkey arrived at four essentials that each child would need: routine, love, honesty, and security. These four concepts, however simple, are crucial for those who want to successfully guide their children through one of the most difficult passages they may face in life: the loss of a loved one. What Children Need When They Grieve explores: • The scope of a child's reactions to death, including grief and fear • Advice on how to talk with your child, and how to recognize their need for privacy • What other adults can do to help, and what they should refrain from doing • Concise and to-the-point advice about your child's daily routine, at home and at school Written with compassion and the knowledge that comes from the experience of loss, designed not to overwhelm with too much information, and with an introduction by an expert in childhood bereavement, What Children Need When They Grieve offers strategies, support, and comfort for grieving families.
Living with loss: From grief to wellbeing offers the latest research on adapting to and making sense of bereavement and non-death losses. It evaluates the effectiveness of a range of therapeutic approaches, including various therapeutic writing methods, that facilitate the integration of loss. Living with loss, whether through death or other causes, is one of the most challenging experiences we face. The COVID-19 pandemic had intensified the impact of these losses and increased the need for professional support and constructive therapeutic approaches. This book offers perspectives on resilience, the need for presence in bereavement, and the assessment of functional impairment following COVID-19 losses. It examines the realities of bereaved students in higher education, presents and explains compassion-focused grief therapy and meaning-focused narrative construction, and evaluates the therapeutic process of grief recovery. This volume also includes a participatory research study into the effectiveness of writing through loss and is aimed at clinicians, grief counselors, multi-disciplinary researchers, lecturers and practitioners of Writing-for-wellbeing, and will also be of value for those grieving a loved one or facing a non-death loss. The chapters in this book were originally published as two special issues in British Journal of Guidance and Counselling.