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Caring through the Funeral is a guidebook to take pastors through the complete funeral process, from the moment the call is received to the weeks following the funeral. More than just a "how-to,” Caring through the Funeral uniquely addresses the funeral process from the perspective of pastoral ministry—of pastoral caring throughout the time of mourning, from the death through post-funeral grieving. Many times the funeral is the most momentous means of pastoral caring for the bereaved, and often it is the only time that the church has an opportunity to care for the family and friends. Gene Fowler explores what pastors go through at each stage of the funeral process. Both descriptive and conceptual, Fowler's practical advice, solid pastoral and theological grounding, and case illustrations take pastors and student pastors through many issues: - the language of loss—the vocabulary ministers need for this caring ministry - bereavement and grief - pastoral care of family members - pastoral care of non-family members, including groups within the church and community - the funeral as worship service, including a comparison of our Protestant liturgical books and the elements that comprise a Christian funeral - practical issues of planning the service, including sample services - funeral service as means of caring for the bereaved and as a rite of passage, and the interrelationship between funerals, mourning, and grief - how funerals often launch mourners on a spiritual journey - questions asked by the bereaved - role of resurrection in pastoral care - pastoral care after the funeral
For pastors and congregations, caring for those who are grieving is a very important but difficult job. Gene Fowler believes that the church needs a theological understanding of bereavement that can inform the ministry of caring for grieving people. The heart of The Ministry of Lament addresses the relationship between bereavement and the Christian faith in the service of caring ministry. Throughout the book, Fowler brings the psalms of lament into dialogue with a contemporary understanding of mourning so that the entire grief process can be addressed theologically.
"Before long I began to understand that showing up, being there, helping in an otherwise helpless situation was made heroic by the same gravity I had sensed when I first stood in that embalming room as a boy„the presence of the dead made the presence of the living more meaningful somehow, as if it involved a basic and intuitively human duty to witness." „from Chapter 1, "How We Come to Be the Ones We Are" Two of the most authoritative voices on the funeral industry come together here in one volume to discuss the current state of the funeral. Through their different lenses„one as a preacher and one as a funeral director„Thomas G. Long and Thomas Lynch alternately discuss several challenges facing "the good funeral," including the commercial aspects that have led many to be suspicious of funeral directors, the sometimes tense relationship between pastors and funeral directors, the tendency of modern funerals to exclude the body from the service, and the rapid growth in cremation. The book features forewords from Patrick Lynch, President of the National Funeral Directors Association, and Barbara Brown Taylor, highly praised author and preacher. It is an essential resource for funeral directors, morticians, and pastors, and anyone else with an interest in current funeral practices.
The blogger behind Confessions of a Funeral Director—what Time magazine called a "must read"—reflects on mortality and the powerful lessons death holds for every one of us in this compassionate and thoughtful spiritual memoir that combines the humor and insight of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes with the poignancy and brevity of When Breath Becomes Air. We are a people who deeply fear death. While humans are biologically wired to evade death for as long as possible, we have become too adept at hiding from it, vilifying it, and—when it can be avoided no longer—letting the professionals take over. Sixth-generation funeral director Caleb Wilde understands this reticence and fear. He had planned to get as far away from the family business as possible. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and how could he do that if all the people he worked with were . . . dead? Slowly, he discovered that caring for the deceased and their loved ones was making a difference—in other people’s lives to be sure, but it also seemed to be saving his own. A spirituality of death began to emerge as he observed: The family who lovingly dressed their deceased father for his burial The act of embalming a little girl that offered a gift back to her grieving family The nursing home that honored a woman’s life by standing in procession as her body was taken away The funeral that united a conflicted community Through stories like these, told with equal parts humor and poignancy, Wilde offers an intimate look into the business and a new perspective on living and dying
Words as Medicine What to say to your children to get them through the bumps, bruises, and crises of childhood. Falling off a bike, having a bad dream, getting stitches...sometimes a kiss isn't enough to make it all better. But what you say to your child in those first moments of pain or fear could make all the difference. Using techniques the authors have taught to doctors, nurses, and first responders, Verbal First Aid(tm) explains how words can be used to promote healing from burns, bruises, nightmares, asthma attacks, and more. It provides scripts and tips on how to short-circuit traumatic memories, sometimes just by speaking a sentence or two. This revolutionary book gives parents the responses they need to immediately stabilize their children's emotions. And these methods will build a foundation of confidence and inner strength that will help kids heal at the deepest level, and weather whatever hardships and difficulties they encounter throughout life.
This straight-forward book integrates the pragmatic “how to” of the funeral process--especially in dealing with “difficult” funerals--with the art of being a caring and healing presence before, during, and after the funeral. While conducting a funeral is one the great privileges of ministry, pastors must be skilled and ready to guide grieving family and friends through the process of saying goodbye and burying a loved one. With sample services, prayers, sermon themes, and Bible readings, this book will help pastors hear, name, and integrate relevant illustration into a respectful story of the deceased's life--a story that is appropriate to the particular circumstances of each situation. Contents include: Preparing for Death; Caring through Anticipated Death; Caring through Sudden Death; Meeting with Family before the Funeral Service; Creating the Funeral Service; Creating the Funeral Sermon; and Following up with Grievers
Thomas Long begins this fascinating volume by describing how the Christian funeral developed historically, theologically, and liturgically, and then discusses recent cultural trends in funeral practices, including the rise in both cremations and memorial services. He describes the basic pattern for a funeral service, details options in funeral planning, identifies characteristics of a "good funeral," and provides thoughtful guidance for preaching at a funeral. Long also notes a disturbing trend toward funeral services that seem theologically right and pastorally caring, but actually depart from the primary aims of the Christian funeral. He argues that a new, less-theological and less-satisfying service that focuses on the mourner has begun to erode the Christian view. He contrasts the ancient grand community drama with today's trend toward body-less memorial services that focus primarily on the living and grief management. This is a loss for the church, he argues, and he calls for the church to reclaim the classic metaphor.
Introduction. Funeral culture: dignity, work, and cultural change -- Reckoning life: dying from AIDS to living with HIV -- Religious healing and resurrection: "Faith without work is dead"--The secrets of life insurance: saving, care, and the witch -- Grounded: body politics of burial and cremation -- Life in a takeaway box: mobility and purity in funeral feasts -- Commemoration and cultural change: memento radicalis -- Conclusion. The afterlives of work
The problematic field of investigation for this study was for the care of bereaved human beings in the context of significant cultural shifts now shaping the twenty-first century. Deritualization was identified as a significant interdisciplinary concern that contributes to potential distress in processes of grieving. The objective of the research was the development of a practical theology of compassionate caregiving for the bereaved with deference to the problem of deritualization. The theoretical framework was guided by the Oxford Interdisciplinary Research model and the Loyola Institute of Ministries model of practical theology. The study was designed for applied research for funeral directors and vocational pastors utilizing qualitative research methods. Hermeneutical and empirical components addressed six research questions through two domains of inquiry: disciplinary perspectives and educational dynamics of bereavement caregiving. Using the method of hermeneutics to critically evaluate the first two research questions, three disciplinary fields of knowledge were examined and integrated from the perspective of pastoral care: funeral service, bereavement psychology, and practical theology. Each discipline individually converged upon meaningful caregiving, meaning-reconstruction, and meaning-reframing as significant modes of bereavement care. Using ethnographic semi-structured interviews to critically evaluate the remaining four research questions, data were collected from a Christian university and a mortuary college. The interview questionnaire included twenty-five main questions organized in four parts: Philosophy of Education, Hermeneutics of Bereaved Families, Care of Bereaved Families, and Encounter of Bereaved Families. The study utilized two cycles of qualitative coding techniques to report the findings of each participating school. A hybrid form of in vivo and holistic coding as well as a second cycle of pattern coding distilled the interview responses into actionable statements that reinforced bereavement caregiving. By synthesizing all of the findings, a compelling case was made for a paradigm of comforting presence supported by principles from a Louwian perspective of practical theology, including theological anthropology, promissiotherapy, bipolarity, and hermeneutics. The study connected a philosophy of meaning-reframing and a paradigm of comforting presence to a meta-theoretical framework within a narrative approach to care. The research elucidated an interdisciplinary understanding that contributed toward a compassionate practical theology of caregiving for the bereaved.