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The exploding phenomenon of late-life divorce has resulted in a seismic shift in modern relationships. Author Bair explores the many reasons why older, long-married couples break up. Having conducted nearly four hundred interviews, Bair reveals some of the surprising motivations that lead to these drastic late-life splits, as well as the surprising turns life takes for all concerned after the divorce is final. Bair finds that, most often, women initiate these divorces because they want the freedom to control how they will live the rest of their lives. The realization may appear to happen suddenly, but Bair shows how it often takes many years and much careful planning before the ultimate "Eureka!" moment. Bair describes current trends, including the growing use of "mediators, " seen as lower-cost alternatives to lawyers, and provides examples of how people cope in the years after.--From publisher description.
A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.
In He’s History, You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After 40, Erica Manfred shares her own divorce experience, as well as the advice of experts, with specific sections tailored to women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. Manfred was left for a younger woman in 2003, and eventually learned to both survive and thrive. After educating herself in the areas many women have barely even thought of when considering divorce, she is the kind of girlfriend a woman needs when facing both menopause and the trauma of divorce. She can help save divorcees lots of anguish, and lots of cash. HE’S HISTORY, YOU’RE NOT discusses how to: • Avoid “kiss of death” marriage counselors to determine if reconciliation is possible. • Find an affordable divorce lawyer who does not snort scornfully at the word “mediation.” • Survive the first, worst, year. • Deal with your adult or teen kids (who can be just as devastated as small children). • Get back to work or find a new career. (Age discrimination does not have to stop you.) • Use the Internet to date the Viagra generation. • Restore your self-esteem despite body parts that have succumbed to gravity. • Forgive the bastard (and yourself) and finally move on…and much more.
“Wise, practical, wryly good-humored, and immensely helpful, this book is a must-read for the millions of boomers entering retirement age.” —Jane Mansbridge, PhD, Adams Professor, Kennedy School, Harvard University A Couple’s Guide to Happy Retirement is the most comprehensive book devoted entirely to relationship issues in retirement. Not a treatise on money management, this is a much-needed guide to the psychological aspects of retirement and how to make your retirement relationship happy, fruitful, loving, and successful. Written by a psychologist specializing in work and family issues, and drawing from actual accounts from retired couples, this book helps you prepare emotionally for the dramatic life changes during retirement, coaches you to find new purposes to your life beyond work, nurtures the relationship with your companion to strengthen your friendship and love, explores sexuality after retirement and how you can enjoy each other as much as you did as a younger couple, and recommends strategies to successfully deal with differences around money, time together versus apart, housework, and family relationships. It is crucial that couples prepare themselves and their marriages psychologically for what could very well comprise a quarter of their lives. A Couple’s Guide to Retirement shows you how to do that—so that you’ll have the time of your lives. “An extremely helpful perspective in meeting the challenge of aging and retirement, young or older.” —James I. Ausman, MD, PhD, and Carolyn R. Ausman, BSS, executive producers and creators of The Leading Gen® “A wise, optimistic, straightforward, and practical guidebook . . . I highly recommend it.” —William Pinsof, PhD, founder and past president of Family Therapy Institute, Northwestern University
After 20, 30, or even 40 years of marriage, countless vacations, raising well-adjusted children, and sharing property and finances, what could go wrong? Gray Divorce is a provocative look at the rising rate of marital splits after the age of 50. Renowned author and researcher Jocelyn Elise Crowley uncovers the reasons why men and women divorce—and the penalties and benefits that they receive for their choices. From the outside, many may ask why couples in mid-life and readying for retirement choose to make a drastic change in their marital status. Yet, nearly one out of every four divorces in the United States is “gray.” With a deft eye, Crowley analyzes the differing experiences of women and men in this mid-life transition—the seismic shift in individual priorities, the role of increased life expectancy, and how women are affected economically while men are affected socially. With a realistic yet passionate voice, Crowley shares the personal positive outlooks and the necessary supportive public policies that must be enacted to best help the newly divorced. Engaging and instructive, Gray Divorce is a must-read for anyone interested in contemporary American culture.
Finalist, Books for a Better Life Award: “A terrific read that offers parents a new way of thinking and being after their last child leaves home.” —Guy Winch, PhD, author of Emotional First Aid Parents make an enormous emotional and financial investment in raising their children. But children grow up. They move out. They create their own lives and their own homes—and the role of the parent changes, diminishes, and evolves. This life phase has no official name, yet it represents a profound shift from the rigors of daily parenting to a period of self-reflection and reorientation. In this book, Wendy Aronsson centers on that experience, capturing the realities of the emotions and life changes that come on gradually, and sometimes proceed in fits and starts. Refeathering the Empty Nestis for any parent preparing for a grown child’s departure from home and wanting to move forward productively, both in their changed parenting role and in their roles as spouse, employee, friend, neighbor, and self. Using real stories throughout, Aronsson shows how people have managed these changes, how they’ve reignited the passion in their marriages or moved on from bad matches, how they’ve rediscovered old interests and talents, and how they’ve reinvented their relationships with their children as well. These stories provide hope and guidance to anyone whose nest is about to empty, as well as those whose nests already are.
With wit and wisdom, the bibliophile's Ebert & Roeper recommend more than 600 books based on what women care about most. Between the Covers is organized around their wide-ranging curiosity—about themselves, friends and family, the larger world—and their concerns, from health to sex to managing their finances. With such sections as “Babes We Love” (Role Models Real and Imagined), “The Babe Inside” (Focusing on Body and Soul), and “Love, Sex & Second Chances,” this unique collection of fiction and nonfiction reflects how women really read.
In this inspiring book, best-selling author Abigail Trafford describes how people over fifty are rewriting the script of love and in the process redefining the institution of marriage for future generations. Drawing on interviews with hundreds of men and women, married and single, gay and straight, Trafford explores what it means to love and be loved in the decades after midlife - and offers solutions to the most common problems that define this period, such as ''retired spouse syndrome'' and divorce. Wise and compassionate, As Time Goes By is an essential guide to the pursuit of love and happiness in this dynamic stage of life.
"A definite read for students in counseling programs for improving the lives of older adults!" –Amy Gray-Graves, Webster University Helping Relationships with Older Adults: From Theory to Practice examines the fundamental theoretical perspectives of the aging process with an emphasis on the healthy aspects of aging. Taking a comprehensive approach, the text addresses various therapeutic methods as it highlights the strengths and resiliency of the older population. Exercises and case studies demonstrate key concepts and promote skill development by allowing students to experience the various challenges in the lives of older clients. Helping Relationships with Older Adults: From Theory to Practice is part of the Counseling and Professional Identity Series.
A road map for late-life divorce Divorce can be devastating at any time, but the emotional and financial challenges are even greater for those who divorce later in life, with complicated issues of blended families, health care concerns, and retirement planning. Attorney Janice Green brings over 40 years of experience as a divorce lawyer, and in particular, her skill in counseling clients over 50, to Divorce After 50. She addresses: divorce options (including mediation and collaborative divorce) how to receive the best guidance from lawyers and professional advisers dividing marital property fairly retirement plan rules alimony, and keeping good health care. The book also includes divorce survival stories that illustrate your options and provide encouragement. They got through it, and with the help of Divorce After 50, you can, too.