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Many people are responsible for taking care of an aging parent, an ailing spouse, or a handicapped child and do so out of love, devotion, or obligation, and many others have caretaking occupations in the areas of nursing, social work, counseling, and so on. But there are other less benign caretakers in our midst. These people have an excessive need to be needed, and they assume the caretaking role not out of love, obligation, or choice of profession but due to unconscious motivations over which they have little control. This addiction to pleasing others can be as debilitating as substance addictions. Les Barbanell shows that this addiction, which he calls "caretaker personality disorder," masks psychological conflicts and can be a self-destructive force leading to exhaustion, emptiness, even suicide. Barbanell provides strategies for learning to say no, retraining one's focus from others to oneself, gaining freedom from past traumas and abuse, and learning to express rather than repress feelings in order to find a balance between kindness and a pathological level of selflessness. This book is a must-read for those suffering from the addiction to please, their families, and psychotherapists and counselors who work with them. Praise for Les Barbanell's Removing the Mask of Kindness "Barbanell delineates the pathological side of selflessness and argues, as the title suggests, that kindness can serve as a psychological mechanism for concealing emotional problems....The author effectively charts the defining characteristics of a heretofore-unrecognized diagnostic category: caretaker personality disorder (CPD). ...Recommended." -CHOICE "Les Barbanell reveals a new and shocking defense mechanism that individuals use to hid psychological conflicts. The caretaker personality disorder helps explain why an accommodating, sacrificing individual, who is always concerned with others, can end up miserable and feeling incomplete. A must read for anyone in the helping professions." -United States Association fo
There is an epidemic of insecurity in society today. Many people suffer from an unhealthy need for affirmation. They are not capable of feeling good about themselves. For some the quest for approval becomes an actual addiction, as they seek self-worth from the outside world because they can't find it within themselves. Joyce Meyer understands the need for seeking approval from others to overcome feelings of rejection and low self-esteem. The good news, she says, is that there is a cure. God provides all the security anyone needs. Her goal is to provide a pathway toward freedom from the approval addiction.
Anyone who has struggled with sex addiction knows that living with constant sexual compulsions can be extremely difficult. But summoning the courage to find help for this condition can be even more of a challenge. If addictions to pornography, strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, phone sex, or chat rooms have made you feel trapped, this book can help you find a way to break free. Written by a former sex addict who specializes in counseling people who suffer from sexually compulsive behavior, Breaking the Cycle presents a step-by-step plan to enjoying a life of productivity and purpose. You can free yourself from the powerful, compulsive urges that may have damaged your career, finances, or relationships with friends and family. The exercises in this book will show you how to regain control of your life and build meaningful intimate connections with others.
"Are you in lov - or addicted? How to know when to call it quits ... and how to find the courage to do it. Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more paain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction--and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you: why you can get addicted to a person, why and how you may try t deceive yourself ('he really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it'), how you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship, how to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you, why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are 'in love', how to get through the agonizing breakup period - without going back, how not to get caught in such a painful relationship again."-- Back cover.
Severing a cherished relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life—and cutting those emotional ties to a loved one can feel almost like ending an addiction. Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should "get over it already." But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness.
It's no surprise that our culture is addicted to "love." The sappy love songs, the enticing ads for romantic getaways and the desire to be cherished by a special someone will never lose their appeal. But for some women, this poses a significant problem. Because of their insatiable desire for love, they will do anything to find it and ultimately land in destructive addictive relationships over and over again causing incredible harm. This newly revised and expanded edition of Ready to Heal provides an opportunity for women to break free from painful addictive relationships. Kelly McDaniel provides the reader with the tools they will need to move along the path to living a life where intimacy is possible. Readers have an opportunity to begin to "connect the dots" in their own relationship patterns by following the stories of four brave women. A newly added chapter on "Mother Hunger" explores the role of the mother in infancy and how she ultimately impacts a daughter's ability to have healthy intimate relationships later in life. Break free from the chains of addictive relationships that sabotage happiness and self-respect.
Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship. • A seminal work on unhealthy and obsessive behaviors in love, and how to change behavior to have a positive relationship. This third edition includes a new introduction and revisions to the text throughout. • Some symptoms of love addiction include love at first sight, excessive fantasizing, abnormal jealousy, nagging, and accepting dishonesty. • Even relationships with parents, children, siblings, or friends may be addictive-dependency is not always related to romantic love. • Previous editions have sold more than 40,000 copies. "Love addiction is a three-headed serpent that Susan Peabody adeptly slays. This is the quintessential book for any love addict or counselor needing to fully understand this highly prevalent and complex disorder. Susan detects and dissects aspects of this condition not comprehended in other books of its kind. Recovery is possible. This book makes it possible to take the succinct steps necessary toward a loving and reciprocal long-term intimate relationship." —Sudi Scull, M.F.T., C.N., psychotherapist and nutritionist
Candid, shocking, and unforgettable, Broken is a haunting and clear-eyed tale that offers hope for all those wrestling with addiction Unlike some popular memoirs that have fictionalized and romanticized the degradations of drug addiction, Broken is a true-life tale of recovery that stuns and inspires with virtually every page. The eldest son of journalist Bill Moyers, William Cope Moyers relates with unforgettable clarity the story of how a young man with every advantage found himself spiraling into a love affair with crack cocaine that led him to the brink of death-and how a deep spirituality allowed him to conquer his shame, transform his life, and dedicate himself to changing America's politics of addiction. "William Cope Moyers's lucid, measured tale of his own plunge into crack-addled hell [is] frightening in its very realism." -USA Today
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • Kathleen Buhle shares her story of resilience and self-discovery after her marriage to Hunter Biden unraveled in the wake of substance abuse and infidelity in this “dignified and revealing” (People) memoir. “Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment.”—Connie Britton This is not a story about good versus evil. Or who was right. Or who was better. For decades, Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife, beginning when, as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago, she met the dashing son of a senator at the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Oregon. Within months of falling in love, Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged, living a life beyond anything she’d ever known. Determined to build her family on a foundation of love, Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle. But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency, she was forced to learn how rapidly and irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction. When the lies became insurmountable, Kathleen was forced to reckon with the compromises she had made to try to save her marriage. She wondered if she could survive on her own. The result is a memoir that is page-turning and heart-breaking. Here Kathleen asks why she kept so much hidden—from her daughters and herself—for so many years, why she became dependent on one man, and why she was more faithful to a vow of secrecy than to her own truth. This inspiring chronicle of radical honesty and self-actualization speaks to women who have lost part of their identity and want to reclaim it.
Leading readers through self-diagnosis and step-by-step through the stages of recovery, Russell Willingham reminds us of all the resouces Christians have at their disposal for dealing with sexual addiction.