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Sarah's known monsters. . .and John isn't one. Sarah's life isn't going well. She's divorced from an abusive jerk, been drugged, stuffed in her trunk and nearly kidnapped. Between that and a harsh winter, it's almost more than a girl can take. She's rightly distrusting of any man's affection, so an ice-skating date with John - who doesn't seem to feel the cold - isn't exactly on her bucket list. Yet something about him captures her attention. John is determined to live as an ordinary mortal. He's moved into the city, bought a sports bar and works there as the bartender. As a new vampire, he's never considered dating, until he meets Sarah. Prudence dictates he stay away from her, but everything about her calls to him. . .right down to her cute animal socks. Sure, finding out John is a vampire is scary, but Sarah's learned not all monsters have fangs. Besides, someone else isn't too happy about their budding relationship. Sarah will have to survive before getting her chance at love. 92,308 Words
Color the hell out of this swear-word adult coloring book—and feel your stress disappear! With annoying exes, crappy coworkers, red-faced bosses, endless traffic, and whatever sh*t you’re dealing with at home, sometimes all you need is to tell everyone to “BITE ME!” Now you can say it in color! Find your inner calm with beautiful and intricate black-and-white art that also happens to feature your favorite profanities. From “People are the Worst” coloring pages to empowering “Winning at Life” coloring pages, you’ll feel the “Zen” wash over you as you color in or outside the lines, however you damn well please. So grab a marker, flip to a page, and go f*cking nuts!
“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.” —Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”
Even though Lucas hasn't come out, his mom and his friend try to set him up with boys--just not the one he wants
Ally was at a breaking point when she woke up in a psych ward at the age of eighteen. She couldn't put a sentence together, let alone take a shower, eat a meal, or pick up a phone. What had gone wrong? In recent years, she had produced a feature film, a popular reality show for a major network, and had acted in an off-Broadway play. But now, Ally was pushed to a psychotic break after struggling since she was seven years old with physical symptoms that no doctor could explain; everything from joint pain, to night sweats, memory loss, nausea, and brain fog. A doctor in the psych ward was finally able to give her the answers her and her family had desperately been searching for, and the diagnosis that all the previous doctors had missed. She learned that she had Lyme disease-and finally had a breakthrough. What she didn't know was that this diagnosis would lead her down some of the most excruciating years of her life before beginning her journey to recovery from eleven years of misdiagnosis and physical pain. She would need to find her courage to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally, and become the survivor she is today. Set against the backdrop of the fast-paced fashion and entertainment industries, Bite Me shares the heartbreaking and hilarious stories that moved Ally forward on her journey from sickness to health. Its themes will be familiar to more than 300,000 Americans diagnosed with Lyme disease each year, many of whom, like Ally, wondered for years what was wrong with them. Bite Me offers readers hope and ideas for how one can transition from victim to survivor, and shares the spiritual principles and actions that have contributed to her wholeness as a human, mother, and international spokesperson against Lyme disease.
Livy Kowalski has no time for idiots. When you shapeshift into a honey badger, getting through life's irritants is a finely honed skill. Until she gets stuck housing her nutso cousin and dealing with her dad's untimely and unexplained demise. That's where Vic Barinov comes in - or his house does. Vic can't step outside without coming back to find Livy devouring his honey stash and getting the TV remote sticky. It gets his animal instincts all riled up. But he'll have to woo her at high speed: all hell is breaking loose, and Livy is leading the charge.
Color the living shit out of this new stress-relieving, fucking swear word adult coloring book! With daily stresses like annoying coworkers, red-faced bosses, endless traffic, and whatever shit you have going on at home, sometimes all you need to do is to tell everyone to “fuck the fuck off”. Now you can say it in color! - There are more ways to say “fuck you” than ever with this collection of over 50 satisfyingly inappropriate coloring pages. - Relieve some stress with easy and beautiful art—that also happens to feature your favorite profanities. Feel the zen wash over you as you color in or outside the lines however you damn well please. - Take your defiance up a notch with more complex patterns, or take the easy route when you unwind. No matter what you do, make sure you do whatever the fuck you want!
I've got one thing to say to the fated mate who wants to kill me: Bite Me. I can handle anyone who walks into my pub. Except him--the most powerful vampire who ever lived. The First. Dark, damaged, and hot as hell. He says I'm his one and only Vampire Bride, and that five years ago, I buried him alive. Obviously he's crazy, because I don't remember any of that. All I know is that if I want to escape his vengeance, I have to help him infiltrate a deadly secret society. I'm going to use the time to prove that I didn't try to kill him, and that I'm not his Vampire Bride. Because if I am, he'll kill me. But his wrath starts to falter as our mutual hate turns to heat. Now, I'm starting to wonder if maybe he's right. But whatever happens in the end, there's no escaping our twisted fate.
Eli Channing was just a man on top of the world, successful, married to Ivy, the woman of his dreams. Then one night, they're attacked, and she's murdered by vampires beyond salvation. Eli was saved, recruited to join the elite vampire wardens, a keeper of silence and peace between humans and other beings, but in his heart is the desire for revenge. Nearly a century later, a woman named Ivy who writes fictional vampire novels appears in his path. This new Ivy stirs familiar feelings and dark primal passion in him. But she's not his Ivy. Or is she? Soon, Eli will discover what comes around goes around, and those we are connected to share a bond with us that cannot be broken. As Eli seeks the mystery of this new Ivy's connection to him, he will come face to face with the vampire who killed his wife. And he will face the hard truth of why she died and how he might be to blame.
With Fuck Off, I Can't Stop Coloring, relax and color the shit out of these 50+ foul-mouthed insults, letting go of all that f-ing stress of adulthood! Let your inner rebel guide the artist in you and get lost in these swear-filled and satisfyingly immature coloring pages.Focus on something other than bills and remember what having fun feels like with 112 pages of guided coloring. Put down the resignation letter and pick up a pencil, coloring will soothe your stress and save your work week. Let your inner rebel guide the artist in you and get lost in these swear-filled and satisfyingly immature coloring pages. Relax and color away the stress of adulthood with 50 foul-mouthed insults.