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In divorce and co-parenting, not only do parents need to deal with their own emotions, they may be faced with a daily barrages of hostile calls, texts, social media blasts, and/or emails. How can you regain a sense of control and peace for your own sake and for the kids? For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming emails, texts and conversations, has grown in use by thousands of people dealing with a person with a high conflict personality. This third book in the BIFF Communication series is especially devoted to parents dealing with issues in and after separation and divorce as they co-parent their children, complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method and numerous examples for dealing with co-parent situations. When parents use this approach, not only do they feel good about their end of the written or verbal conversation, but it tends to influence the other parent to communicate more productively as well. While it's simple and practical, it's not natural for most of us because we are hooked by the emotional intensity. This book can help you reduce the conflict and regain your sanity by learning what to write and what not to write. Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. The BIFF is a communication game changer--it works!
This little book gives more than 20 examples of BIFF responses--brief, informative, friendly, and firm--for all areas of life, plus additional tips to help readers deal with high-conflict people anywhere. 158 pp.
An examination of the child alienation problem from the perspective of a lawyer/therapist/mediator who trains professionals on managing high-conflict disputes.
"Your divorce doesn't have to damage your children..., " Stahl assures, " ... especially if you limit your children's exposure to your conflicts." He knows parents are not perfect, and he uses that knowledge to show imperfect parents how to settle their differences in the best interests of the children. This revised and updated second edition features ideas from the latest research, more information on long-distance parenting, dealing with the courts, and working with a difficult co-parent. A realistic perspective on divorce and its effects on children, Parenting After Divorce features knowledgeable advice from an expert custody evaluator. Packed with real-world examples, this book avoids idealistic assumptions, and offers practical help for divorcing parents, custody evaluators, family court counselors, marriage and family therapists and others interested in the best interests of the children.
Divorce is hard enough even in the best of circumstances. But what if your spouse is trying to turn the kids against you? What if your ex is hauling you into court over every little thing? What if you're being falsely accused of child abuse or domestic violence? Worst of all, what if you've been cut off from your children entirely? High-conflict divorce is just about the most devastating, soul-wrecking experience imaginable. The unrelenting chaos and pain can leave you exhausted and despairing. Legal fees can become a huge strain. And most importantly, there's the impact on your children, who may be grappling with anxiety, struggling at school, acting out, or turning to substances to cope. How can you keep it all together? In The High-Conflict Co-parenting Wellness Planner, high-conflict divorce experts Megan Hunter and Andrea LaRochelle offer hope and a wealth of advice. The healthier you are as a parent, the better you'll be able to help your children. Week by week, the authors guide you in taking care of yourself while navigating conflict. You'll learn practical strategies for handling the most common co-parenting scenarios. And you'll discover new ways to manage your own anger, worry, fear, stress, and grief. As hard as it may be to believe right now, it is possible to move beyond the conflict. You can overcome the alienation, regain your balance, and ultimately find freedom - from the overwhelming feelings, from the drama, and from your ex's hold on your life. This book shows you how.
Workbook used by family courts to teach parents the skills necessary to jointly make their parenting decisions out of court.
Hate your ex but love your kids? If so, this much-needed guide offers practical tips and strategies to help you manage intense emotions, deal with shame and blame, and create a peaceful, loving environment for your children. Let’s face it—divorce is tough. In a high-conflict divorce, your ex may attempt to undermine your relationship with your children, blame you for the failed marriage, and be hostile toward you in general. Unfortunately, this negativity can affect your kids, too. You need to break the cycle of rage and conflict now, for their sake. This book can help. Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other offers powerful skills based in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and values-based parenting to help you both take control of your emotions. You’ll get tools to help you identify cycles of conflict, as well as strategies for breaking these cycles before they get out of hand. You’ll also learn strategies to effectively communicate with one another and your children in a way that is healthy and productive. If you’re going through a high-conflict divorce, you need real tools to help you manage the pain and anger that can follow. This book will show you the skills you need to go from ex to co-parent, and start rebuilding your—and your child’s—life.
This highly anticipated second edition of Splitting includes new chapters on abuse, alienation, and false allegations; as well as information about the four types of domestic violence, protective orders, and child custody disputes. Are you divorcing someone who’s making the process as difficult as possible? Are they sending you nasty emails, falsifying the truth, putting your children in the middle, abusing you, or abusing the system? Are they “persuasive blamers,” manipulating and fooling court personnel to get them on their side? If so, you need this book. For more than ten years, Splitting has served as the ultimate guide for people divorcing a high conflict person, one who often has borderline or narcissistic (or even antisocial) personality disorder. Among other things, it has saved readers thousands of dollars, helped them keep custody of their children, and effectively guided them through a difficult legal and emotional process. Written by a family law attorney and therapist, and the author of Stop Walking on Eggshells, Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers. Turn to this guide to help you: Predict what your spouse may do or say in court Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking Choose a lawyer who understands your case Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you If you need help navigating a high-conflict divorce from a manipulative spouse, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.
Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap helps parents understand the reasons why some children resist a parent during divorce-a reality that touches many families. Combining years of experience in intensive work with families struggling with parent-child estrangement, Overcoming Barriers' first publication offers practical insight on two central questions: Why does a child resist contact with a parent? How can I best support my child to have healthy relationships with both parents? This guide details practical strategies for working through the significant challenges both parents may experience with a resisting child. Common scenarios and concrete solutions are presented both for preferred parents and resisted parents."
When a marriage ends, the most important thing divorcing parents can do is to help their children through this difficult transition and remain united as parents even if they are no longer united as a couple. In Parenting Apart divorce coach Christina McGhee offers practical advice on how to help children adjust and thrive during and after separation and divorce. She looks at all the different issues parents may face with their children of different ages, offering immediate solutions to the most critical parenting problems divorce brings, including: ·When to tell your children about the divorce and what to say ·How to create a loving, secure home if your child doesn't live with you full time ·What to do if your child is angry or sad ·How to manage the legal system, including information on family law and issues of custody ·How to deal with a difficult ex This is an invaluable resource that offers parents quick access to the information you most need at a time when you need it most.