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Bestselling author Bob Phillips has compiled yet another great collection of quirky quips and zany zingers that will charm and delight the young-at-heart and everyone who appreciates a little laughter in their lives. Stories of wacky waiters, loony lawyers, and daffy doctors will entertain readers while providing conversation starters for coffee or other get-togethers. An exasperated salesman abandoned his car in a no-parking zone and left this note: "I've circled this block 20 times. I have an appointment and must keep it or lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." Upon returning, he found this note: "I've circled this block 20 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." Patient: Doctor, doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember a thing. Doctor: How long have you had this problem? Patient: What problem? Alphabetized so readers can find just the right joke to suit their fancy, Jolly Jokes for Older Folks provides lighthearted moments for everyone who's been around long enough to laugh at themselves and others.
This large-print gift book "Best Old Folks Jokes and Funny Stories Ever" contains funny short stories, jokes, and essays about and for seniors. An elderly man visited the doctor for a checkup. "Mr. Jones, you're in great shape," said the doctor. "How do you do it?" "Well," said Mr. Jones, "I don't drink, I don't smoke, and the good Lord looks out for me. For weeks now, every time I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he turns the light on for me." Concerned, the doctor finds Mrs. Jones in the waiting room and tells her what her husband said. "I don't think that's anything to worry about," she said. "And on the bright side, it does explain who's been peeing into the fridge at night." Good stories and funny jokes never go away. However, times have changed, and when someone smiles at you, it doesn't have to be pity, but it probably is. Why not march towards the sunset, and have a little fun along the way, whether it's with grandma in bed (pun intended) or with a funny book. The Doctor said a lot of nonsense, but he was probably right in saying that laughter is the best medicine. So why not chuckle along with everyone else who is growing older, a little laughter can go a long way in accepting the inevitable with gratitude and grace. Reading this short story and joke book is indeed a very funny activity for fans of comedy and is very much suitable for those who suffer from bordeom. It might even help those who suffer from early dementia. You get a very entertaining book for those who are looking for a temporary and humorous cure in difficult times. Here you have a truly fun read from start to finish that will be a highlight for the elderly. This book is a perfect gift for seniors to lighten up their spirits; a hillarious short story and joke book that is easy to read and written in large print.
I woke up this morning and forgot which direction the sun rises from... then it dawned on me. I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier. I’m sure it will come back to me. Aging gets old after a while. Pun intended. Gone are the days when you can remember why you went into the kitchen, what medications you are taking for what, and whether you hurt your neck doing something amazing or you just slept funny (and it’s not really funny because, quite honestly, you don’t know if your neck will ever work properly again). When you need to find humor in the not-so marvelous life changes, pick up Best Old Folks Jokes Ever and chuckle along with everyone else who is growing older. That’s literally everyone. A little laughter can go a long way in accepting the inevitable with gratitude and grace.
A book of jokes, quips, puns, riddles, quotes, and humorous asides that helps the aging process get just a little bit easier. Written by our terrific team of comedy writers, filled with amusing new jokes and all-time classics. Delightful illustrations complement the text, adding an extra dimension to the hilarity
This joke book for seniors and elderly is perfect for older adults, parents and grandparents. With over 350 jokes, there will be jokes for all humors and hours of laughter for everyone. This funny jokes book is the perfect birthday present or gift for any occasion. Available in the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Germany and many other countries. Start enjoying lots of laughs today!
From the co-creator of the celebrated Big Book of Jewish Humor comes a laugh-out-loud collection of jokes about growing older that makes fun of memory loss, marriages, medicine, sex, the afterlife, and much more, making this the perfect gift for almost anyone who was born before you were. Growing older can be unsettling and surprising. (How on earth did this happen? Where did the years go?) So what better way to deal with this new stage of life than to laugh about your new reality? Die Laughing includes more than enough jokes (not to mention cartoons!) to let that laughter burst out. Whether it’s dealing with doctors, dating in one’s seventies, or unexpected bodily changes (not to mention funny noises), some things are easier to face with a smile of recognition. That’s why Die Laughing is the perfect gift for your parents, anyone celebrating a significant birthday, or any boomer with a sense of humor whose age begins with a six or higher.
For speakers, preachers, or anyone who enjoys a good laugh, this series is a treasure! All jokes are conveniently listed by subject for quick reference and preparation on the run.
This top-selling collection of pure fun (more than 295,000 copies sold) is back with a fresh and lively new cover to reach more readers eager to laugh. Puns, one-liners, jester-worthy jokes, and quirky quips will amaze and astound friends and family. Giggles are guaranteed as readers enjoy the crazy conversations and hilarious observations— “Daddy, the teacher was reading the Bible to us—all about the children of Israel building the temple, the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea, the children of Israel making sacrifices. Didn’t the grownups do anything?” “You’re the laziest fellow I have seen. Don’t you do anything quickly?” “Yes, I get tired fast.” “I haven’t slept for days.” “How come?” “I only sleep at night!”
Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!
I told my mom I couldn't reach the high notes in my choir class... She said I should get a ladder! Every time we go to the ocean, my mom tells me to say hello... the ocean just waves back! If you love arguing about why it’s important to wear a coat when it’s 12 degrees outside... you should be a mom! There’s a legend that if you go take a shower and scream “MOM!” three times... a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot! The next time your young comedian is looking to serve up priceless entertainment, share Best. Mom Jokes. Ever.! Get ready for eyerolls, head shakes, and "aha" moments as you navigate through these mom jokes that make little truths so funny. If you think you’ve heard every mom joke in the book, think again. Best. Mom Jokes. Ever. is sure to have you throwing up your hands and declaring, “Because I said so!”