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A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool. Joseph Roux This is a collection of the funniest quotes culled by the author from the thousands that are out there to save the reader the trouble of perusing the multitude of mediocre to find the best. This is a book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. It is for those who want to pep up a speech, a presentation or an email and for those who just want to sit at home and enjoy the best humorous quotations for their own amusement. In the author's view the best humorous quotations are often those which contain an essence of truth viewed from an unexpected and quirky angle unseen previously.
A stupendous collection of quotes, quips, epigrams, witticisms, and humorous comments. For personal enjoyment and ready reference.
Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
The first book ever from an icon of American comedy -- a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper. Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays. Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives, in hit movies such as Elf, and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite -- have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor -- including excerpts from some of his classic routines -- on the printed page.
The Big Book of Quotes is a collection of over 3,500 quotations from some of the greatest minds that ever existed. This is a book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. It is for those who want to pep up a speech, a presentation or an email and for those who just want to jump start their brains with thought provoking or amusing quotations. The essence of the best quotes are that they express a truth or an insight in a short and often amusing way. Thoughts expressed succinctly have tremendous power. They can inspire and motivate, they can get a message across and they can provide insight. I hope this book will prove useful, amusing and the quotes will resonate with you.
Over 500 of the best quotes in this collection of quotes Ideal for every occasion. Are you looking for the Best Funny Quotes Collection that will make you laugh out Loud? Then this is the book for you. A beautifully made compilation great book of quotes; some funny and hilarious, some wise and clever, but for sure Unforgettable Quotes to keep, treasure and share for years to come It is the perfect funny but wise book to keep next to you on your desk for moments of boredom, depression or sadness plus it also makes for the ideal funny gift for a coworker, boss, friend or family. This book is for you if you are looking for a twinge of humor in: Motivational Life Quotes Inspiring Quotes Success Quotes Love and Relationship Quotes Political Quotes Quotes on Religion, Money And more... Enjoy a wonderful collection of funny favorite quotes from ancient philosophers to modern day thinkers. Read one quote a day as a daily vitamin of inspiration, or read them in one sitting to break through negative thinking. The funny Quote book is carefully created to inspire and make you laugh on a daily basis. Find fun, laughter, guidance, wisdom, inspiration and motivation in this beautiful book containing over 500 funny quotes that you will cherish for many years to come. This handy book in a portable 6" by 9" size will be the perfect office gift that will give everyone a big laugh. The perfect Secret Santa, gag gift, Christmas, Holiday, or project employee appreciation gift for any office environment. THIS BOOK FEATURES Over 500 Different Funny quotes Stress Relieving quotes that are Great for Relaxation. 6 x 9 sized A Great Gift. Makes a wonderful gift idea for friends and family during holidays or any occasion
Laugh in the face of death! That’s what this bold, brash, and often irreverent collection of epitaphs encourages readers to do. It offers more than just the deceased’s name and dates of birth and death, plus a touching phrase in memorial. Instead, every fascinating quote presents an unexpectedly cheeky perspective on the tragic, like this one from Uniontown, New Jersey: "Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.” Some come from the gravestones of the famous: Bette Davis’s proudly notes that "she did it the hard way.” Each thought-provoking line makes an indelible contribution to our folklore.
Want to come in a good mood instantly? Need some funny and uplifting quotes with many of the truisms from our everyday lives? Looking for a gift that everyone likes? Then, this is the book for you!Funny quotes are great; they allow us to take a quick break, relax, and take life a bit easier. And who doesn't need those in today's hectic life? Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, "500 Funny Quotes for Women" could be a perfect choice!Here are what this book will offer you:500 funny quotes explicitly selected for womenA collection of quotes carefully chosen from numerous sources arranged by themesAn easy book that you just pick up anytime start anywhere and always enjoy!Uplifting quotes to instantly boost mood and make you chuckle!A perfect gift to bring laughter and joy to the family, friends, and colleaguesWisdom and inspiration while being amused
The entire #1 New York Times bestselling Magicians trilogy, including The Magicians, The Magician King, and The Magician's Land, now available in one ebook bundle The Magicians Quentin Coldwater is brilliant but miserable. A high school math genius, he’s secretly fascinated with a series of children’s fantasy novels set in a magical land called Fillory, and real life is disappointing by comparison. When Quentin is unexpectedly admitted to an elite, secret college of magic, it looks like his wildest dreams may have come true. But his newfound powers lead him down a rabbit hole of hedonism and disillusionment, and ultimately to the dark secret behind the story of Fillory. The land of his childhood fantasies turns out to be much darker and more dangerous than he ever could have imagined . . . The Magicians is one of the most daring and inventive works of literary fantasy in years. No one who has escaped into the worlds of Narnia and Harry Potter should miss this breathtaking return to the landscape of the imagination. The Magician King Quentin Coldwater should be happy. He escaped a miserable Brooklyn childhood, matriculated at a secret college for magic, and graduated to discover that Fillory—a fictional utopia—was actually real. But even as a Fillorian king, Quentin finds little peace. His old restlessness returns, and he longs for the thrills a heroic quest can bring. Accompanied by his oldest friend, Julia, Quentin sets off—only to somehow wind up back in the real-world and not in Fillory, as they’d hoped. As the pair struggle to find their way back to their lost kingdom, Quentin is forced to rely on Julia’s illicitly learned sorcery as they face a sinister threat in a world very far from the beloved fantasy novels of their youth. The Magician's Land Quentin Coldwater has lost everything. He has been cast out of Fillory, the secret magical world of his childhood dreams that he once ruled. With nothing left to lose he returns to where his story began, the Brakebills Preparatory College of Magic. But he can’t hide from his past, and it’s not long before it comes looking for him. Meanwhile, the magical barriers that keep Fillory safe are failing, and barbarians from the north have invaded. Eliot and Janet, the rulers of Fillory, embark on a final quest to save their beloved world, only to discover a situation far more complex—and far more dire—than anyone had envisioned. Along with Plum, a brilliant young magician with a dark secret of her own, Quentin sets out on a crooked path through a magical demimonde of gray magic and desperate characters. His new life takes him back to old haunts, like Antarctica and the Neitherlands, and old friends he thought were lost forever. The Magician’s Land is an intricate and fantastical thriller, and an epic of love and redemption that brings the Magicians trilogy to a magnificent conclusion, confirming it as one of the great achievements in modern fantasy.
#1 bestselling author James Patterson doles out the laughs in the first book in the hit series! Middle-schooler Jamie Grimm faces bullies and self-doubt as he chases his dream of becoming the world’s greatest comedian Jamie Grimm is a middle schooler on a mission: he wants to become the world's greatest standup comedian--even if he doesn't have a lot to laugh about these days. He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act? Prepare to laugh and cheer along with Jamie in this highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story.