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For bereaved parents the development of a continuing bond with the child who has died is a key element in their grieving and in how they manage the future. Using her experience of working in a children's hospital as a counsellor with bereaved parents, Catherine Seigal looks at how continuing bonds are formed, what facilitates and sustains them and what can undermine them. She reflects on what she learned about the counsellor's role supporting parents in extremely distressing situations. Using the words and experiences of bereaved parents, and drawing on current theories of continuing bonds, the book is relevant to both professionals and parents. It covers important subjects such as the benefits of a therapeutic group for bereaved parents, the challenges for parents when another child is born, the important role of siblings in keeping the bonds alive and how it is for parents whose child dies before birth or in early infancy. The book uses theory lightly but relevantly and places it into the heart of the lived experience. It offers anyone working with bereaved parents insight into the many and varied ways grief is experienced and expressed and what can be helpful and unhelpful. And it offers bereaved parents the opportunity to share other parents' experiences, to understand a little more about their own feelings and to know they are not alone, providing an original and valuable guide to continuing love after death.
First published in 1996. This new book gives voice to an emerging consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th century model holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new relationships in the present. Pathological grief has been defined in terms of holding on to the deceased. Close examination reveals that this model is based more on the cultural values of modernity than on any substantial data of what people actually do. Presenting data from several populations, 22 authors - among the most respected in their fields - demonstrate that the health resolution of grief enables one to maintain a continuing bond with the deceased. Despite cultural disapproval and lack of validation by professionals, survivors find places for the dead in their on-going lives and even in their communities. Such bonds are not denial: the deceased can provide resources for enriched functioning in the present. Chapters examine widows and widowers, bereaved children, parents and siblings, and a population previously excluded from bereavement research: adoptees and their birth parents. Bereavement in Japanese culture is also discussed, as are meanings and implications of this new model of grief. Opening new areas of research and scholarly dialogue, this work provides the basis for significant developments in clinical practice in the field.
Culture, Consolation, and Continuing Bonds in Bereavement presents Dennis Klass’s most important contributions to the scholarship of grief and bereavement. Journal articles, book chapters, and previously unpublished works cover more than 40 years of study and practice on the forefront of our understanding of individual, family, and community grief. The writings range widely, including explorations of continuing bonds and consolation, aspects of grief that were missing when Klass began his work, studies of grief across different cultures, and critical analyses of theories that were popular in grief scholarship but inadequately described bereaved parents’ experiences. The book ends with a previously unpublished case study of Charles Darwin, whose experience as a bereaved parent informed the worldview at the heart of his theory of natural selection. This collection of essays offers an integral understanding of how individuals move through grief and is a valuable addition to the library of anyone working with topics relevant to grieving adults, children, and adolescents.
The introduction of the continuing bonds model of grief near the end of the 20th century revolutionized the way researchers and practitioners understand bereavement. Continuing Bonds in Bereavement is the most comprehensive, state-of-the-art collection of developments in this field since the inception of the model. As a multi-perspectival, nuanced, and forward-looking anthology, it combines innovations in clinical practice with theoretical and empirical advancements. The text traces grief in different cultural settings, asking questions about the truth in our interactions with the dead and showing how new cultural developments like social media change the ways we relate to those who have died. Together, the book’s four sections encourage practitioners and scholars in both bereavement studies and in other fields to broaden their understanding of the concept of continuing bonds.
This book describes how parents lose, find, or relocate spiritual anchors after the death of their child. It describes how ordinary people reconstruct their lives after their foundations have shifted, and how they make sense of their world after one of their centers of meaning has been removed. Klass grounds his descriptions of spirituality in his scholarly study of comparative religions, and in his two decades studying the lives of bereaved parents. He argues that continuing bonds with their dead children can give parents a new transcendent reality. Deceased children, like saints or bodhisattvas, can offer a bridge between the profane and sacred worlds, support parents as they find meaning in a world made forever poorer, and bind together a community adequate to parents' grief. The book reports Klass's clinical practice and his work as advisor to a bereaved parents self-help support group.
The dead are still with us. Contemporary therapists and counselors are coming to understand what's been known for millennia in most religions and in most cultures outside the Western milieu: it's important to continue bonds between the living and the dead. Taking these connections seriously, Goss and Klass explore how bonds with the dead are created and maintained. In doing so, they unearth a fascinating new way to look at the origins and processes of religion itself. Examining ties to dead family members, teachers, religious and political leaders across religious and secular traditions, the authors offer novel ways of understanding grief and its role in creating meaning. Whether for classes in comparative religion and death and dying, or for bereavement counselors and other trying to make sense of grief, this book helps us understand what it means to feel connected to those dead but not lost.
Bringing together latest research and practice from the world's first children's hospice - Helen and Douglas House, alongside the personal experience of a parent, Parents and Bereavement is essential reading for professionals involved in supporting families with end of life care and bereavement issues.
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Restore Your Spirit after Sudden Loss Healing after loss. When a loved one passes unexpectedly, the person left behind can lose their bearings. After the sudden loss of her mother, Chelsea Hanson, a nationally-recognized grief educator and founder of With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, didn’t know where to turn for help, what to do next, or how to put the pieces of her life back together. Hanson’s The Sudden Loss Survival Guide gathers everything that she learned during her own recovery process and provides an indispensable road map to aid those who’ve experienced a life-changing loss. A proactive, intentional approach. While you cannot control losing a loved one, you can consciously guide your own recovery. Through the application of simple, proactive practices, The Sudden Loss Survival Guide will empower you to overcome the darkness and anxiety of grief. Action-based tools. The Sudden Loss Survival Guide includes heart-lifting prompts and action steps that guide you towards reengaging in life and discovering deeper meaning. Through Hanson's grief healing practices, this book delivers the essential answers and tools needed to survive, cope, and heal from the devastating impact of sudden loss. The Sudden Loss Survival Guide is a distinctive grief recovery handbook. In this book, discover: • Seven practices for healing, including creative memorialization and maintaining an ongoing spiritual connection • Skimmable, stand-alone passages with immediate, usable information for the trauma you’re facing • A transformative method for living a meaningful, fulfilling life in remembrance of your loved one Readers of grief books like It’s OK That You’re Not OK, I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye, and Grief Day By Day will learn how to live again with the help of The Sudden Loss Survival Guide.