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A “scrupulously honest” (O, The Oprah Magazine) debut memoir that explores one man’s gender transition amid a pivotal political moment in America. Becoming a Man is a “moving narrative [that] illuminates the joy, courage, necessity, and risk-taking of gender transition” (Kirkus Reviews). For fifty years P. Carl lived as a girl and then as a queer woman, building a career, a life, and a loving marriage, yet still waiting to realize himself in full. As Carl embarks on his gender transition, he takes us inside the complex shifts and questions that arise throughout—the alternating moments of arrival and estrangement. He writes intimately about how transitioning reconfigures both his own inner experience and his closest bonds—his twenty-year relationship with his wife, Lynette; his already tumultuous relationships with his parents; and seemingly solid friendships that are subtly altered, often painfully and wordlessly. Carl “has written a poignant and candid self-appraisal of life as a ‘work-of-progress’” (Booklist) and blends the remarkable story of his own personal journey with incisive cultural commentary, writing beautifully about gender, power, and inequality in America. His transition occurs amid the rise of the Trump administration and the #MeToo movement—a transition point in America’s own story, when transphobia and toxic masculinity are under fire even as they thrive in the highest halls of power. Carl’s quest to become himself and to reckon with his masculinity mirrors, in many ways, the challenge before the country as a whole, to imagine a society where every member can have a vibrant, livable life. Here, through this brave and deeply personal work, Carl brings an unparalleled new voice to this conversation.
A GRIPPING, FEARLESS EXPLORATION OF MASCULINITY The effects of traditionally defined masculinity have become one of the most prevalent social issues of our time. In this engaging and provocative new book, beloved actor, director, and social activist Justin Baldoni reflects on his own struggles with masculinity. With insight and honesty, he explores a range of difficult, sometimes uncomfortable topics including strength and vulnerability, relationships and marriage, body image, sex and sexuality, racial justice, gender equality, and fatherhood. Writing from experience, Justin invites us to move beyond the scripts we’ve learned since childhood and the roles we are expected to play. He challenges men to be brave enough to be vulnerable, to be strong enough to be sensitive, to be confident enough to listen. Encouraging men to dig deep within themselves, Justin helps us reimagine what it means to be man enough and in the process what it means to be human.
The path to true manhood uncovered and placed into your hands, Be A Man is your practical guide to becoming the man you were designed by God to be. Learn how to:- love a woman courageously - succeed in your workplace- get free from pornography- grow closer to God- bounce back from failure
I’ve got it all—a great job, relationship, and lifestyle—so why do I feel so dissatisfied and disconnected? Why am I not happier in my intimate relationships? How do I become more powerful—without becoming that jerk everyone dislikes? Robert Augustus Masters has helped thousands of men address and work through such issues. What he’s found is that the common solution to these dilemmas is challenging yet clear: we must face our unresolved wounds, shame, and whatever else is holding us back, bringing “our head, heart, and guts into full-blooded alignment.” With To Be a Man, this acclaimed psychotherapist and relationship expert offers a groundbreaking and deeply insightful guide to masculine power and fulfillment. To Be a Man clarifies what’s needed to enter a manhood as strongly empowered as it’s vulnerable, as emotionally literate as it’s unapologetically alive—a manhood at home with truly intimate relationship. In this book, readers will explore: • How your past may be dominating your present • Shame in its healthy and unhealthy forms, and how to make wise use of it • How vulnerability can be a source of strength • Emotional literacy—an essential skill for relational well-being • Releasing sex from the obligation to make you feel better • How to disempower your inner critic • Bringing your shadow (whatever you’ve disowned in yourself) out of the dark • Embodying your natural heroism and persisting regardless of fear • What women need from men • Understanding and outgrowing pornography • Entering the heartland of true masculine power If you’ve read your share of popular advice on relationships and being a man—but realize on a gut level that it’s going to take some serious inner work—here’s a great guide to that most rewarding of challenges: doing what’s needed to fully embody your authentic manhood.
The Path to Being a Better Man Many modern men are consumed by anger, frustration, aggression, and fear. We are unable to connect effectively as a spouse, a father, a friend, and even a leader. We push people away, lash out at those we love the most, and keep our inner struggles to ourselves. This disjunction from the outside world poisons our relationships and threatens our ability to find true fulfillment. But there is a path to a better version of the modern man. By confronting the inner challenges that inform our outward behaviors, we can reshape ourselves. With help and courage, we can set off on a new journey toward better relationships, more honest and effective communication, and an overall better life. Tony C. Daloisio harnesses over thirty years of professional experience as a practicing psychologist and researcher, as well as his own personal journey, to illuminate the road to a well lived life. The path—and the journeyman—will never be perfect, but the journey itself will lead to lasting positive change for ourselves and for our loved ones.
The National Book Award–winning coming-out memoir. “One of the most complex, moral, personal, and political books to have been written about gay life” (LA Weekly). Paul Monette grew up all-American, Catholic, overachieving . . . and closeted. As a child of the 1950s, a time when a kid suspected of being a “homo” would routinely be beaten up, Monette kept his secret throughout his adolescence. He wrestled with his sexuality for the first thirty years of his life, priding himself on his ability to “pass” for straight. The story of his journey to adulthood and to self-acceptance with grace and honesty, this intimate portrait of a young man’s struggle with his own desires is witty, humorous, and deeply felt. Before his death of complications from AIDS in 1995, Monette was an outspoken activist crusading for gay rights. Becoming a Man shows his courageous path to stand up for his own right to love and be loved. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Paul Monette including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the Paul Monette papers of the UCLA Library Special Collections.
From Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Terry Crews, the deeply personal story of his lifelong obsession with strength—and how, after looking for it in all the wrong places, he finally found it Terry Crews spent decades cultivating his bodybuilder physique and bravado. On the outside, he seemed invincible: he escaped his abusive father, went pro in the NFL, and broke into the glamorous world of Hollywood. But his fixation with appearing outwardly tough eventually turned into an exhausting performance in which repressing his emotions let them get the better of him—leading him into addiction and threatening the most important relationships in his life. Now Crews is sharing the raw, never-before-told story of his quest to find the true meaning of toughness. In Tough, he examines arenas of life where he desperately sought control—masculinity, shame, sex, experiences with racism, and relationships—and recounts the setbacks and victories he faced while uprooting deeply ingrained toxic masculinity and finally confronting his insecurities, painful memories, and limiting beliefs. The result is not only the gripping story of a man's struggle against himself and how he finally got his mind right, but a bold indictment of the cultural norms and taboos that ask men to be outwardly tough while leaving them inwardly weak. With Tough, Crews's journey of transformation offers a model for anyone who considers themselves a “tough guy” but feels unfulfilled; anyone struggling with procrastination or self-sabotage; and anyone ready to achieve true, lasting self-mastery.
This book explores the masculinity and sexuality of migration, analyzing the complex processes of becoming a man and the strategies used by men to reconcile paradoxes and contradictions that co-exist between multiple masculinities and contradictory models of being a man. Vasquez del Aguila offers a number of conceptual contributions, including the notion of “masculine capital” that provides men with the necessary “masculine” skills and cultural competence to achieve legitimacy and social recognition as men; an analysis of male friendship where notions of solidarity and intimacy co-exist with those of distrust, competition, and power relations; and three social representations of being a man: the winner, the failed, and the good enough man. By analyzing heterosexual as well as gay masculinities, and incorporating race and class relations, this study shows the multiplicity and hierarchies of masculinities presented within a particular cultural context. Through ethnographic research undertaken over more than four years in New York and Lima, Peru, this book also examines the role of the Internet and transnational romances and the ways in which migration can create new opportunities for male sexual intimacy, while for others, it creates loneliness and isolation.
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