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"My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep. Which is more than I can say for the three passengers he had in his car at the time." At school, John Blackman was voted the student most likely to recede. Despite this, he has emerged as one of our best-loved funny men. Now the master of the microphone on TV's 'Hey Hey It's Saturday', the voice behind the hat that is Dickie Knee, the king of the backhanders has compiled over 1400 of his all-time favourite one-liners and jokes. "It was so cold today, I saw a politician with his hand in his own pocket." Following the side-splitting success of his previous books Don't Come the Raw Prawn! and The Best of Aussie Slang, John has become the undisputed master of Aussie lingo. Now he takes on his biggest challenge to date: to plumb the depths of the Aussie sense of humour! "I have a lot of trouble sleeping. Sometimes I toss and turn at my desk all day." Ever wished you could come up with an unforgettable one-liner at a crucial moment? Or be known as the king or queen of jokes? This is the definitive book of jokes from all over the world that make Aussies laugh.
This guy walks into a bar ... No no! Have you heard the one about ... Oh, how did it go? There was this blonde who ... Hmm. Do you ever wish you could remember all the gags and one-liners you've heard over the years and become the envy of all your friends and colleagues? Well, wish no more. Hot on the heels of the hugely successful Aussie Gags, John Blackman presents another hilarious collection of the funniest jokes and one-liners Australia has to offer. No stone is left unturned – whether it be lawyers, religion, blondes, mothers-in-law or Viagra, Blackman has a gag for every occasion.
If you don't buy this book you're one chop short of a barbecue! Is your knowledge of Aussie slang sadly lacking? Are you feeling like a bandicoot on a burnt ridge, and running around like a blue-arsed fly? If so, don't chuck a wobbly, simply take a squiz at John Blackman's Best of Aussie Slang and she'll be apples! This latest literary triumph from John Blackman is the ultimate guide to the lingo of Down Under. Known to millions of Australians as the voice of Hey Hey It's Saturday and the alter ego of Dickie Knee, Blackman defines all the great slang and phrases that confront everyone, every day, all around Australia. So take a Captain Cook at this little beauty, impress the world with your grasp of the Aussie vernacular and find a special place for this masterpiece in your home – preferably one that doesn't flush!
With over 400 jokes to smile, giggle and laugh your way through, 'Best Aussie Jokes' has a joke for nearly every occasion. Laughter is a powerful tonic for our physical and mental health and these jokes will ensure you become the life of the party. So get ready for a book full of belly laughs. A warning: Beware... laughing is addictive
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with sheep? A woolly jumper! Mitchell Johnson, Australian cricketer Why did the cockatoo sit on the clock? So he would be on time! Kate Ritchie, actor What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick! Jeremy Lindsay Taylor, actor, Sea Patrol With 362 more hilarious jokes inside, this is a book that will keep you and the kids laughing for hours! Publicity will again be extensive; with a focus on radio, national newspapers, news, children's print media, online and more. This phenomenal fun-raiser will continue to sky-rocket!
"Brilliant", "Arguably the most important work in its field", "A literary masterpiece" ... just a few of the accolades critics didn't shower on John Blackman's first book, The Aussie Slang Dictionary. Despite this, it became a smash-hit success. Don't Come the Raw Prawn! is the side-splitting, risque sequel of words and phrases so dear to the Australian heart. Blackman, the multimedia personality best known as the voice of 'Hey Hey It's Saturday' (and the brains behind the rascally Dickie Knee) is now more than ever convinced of the world's insatiable desire to learn more about the lingo of the Land Down Under – so ... Stop alecking around and don't be a bunny ... this latest book is a lot more useful than a glass door on a dunny. You'd have to be one sandwich short of a picnic or have death adders in your pocket not to pull out the Oscar and take a geek at a book that's as funny as a hatful. Don't be a grape on the business, or a half-back flanker; when it comes to Aussie phrases, this book's fuller than a seaside dunny on Boxing Day. Starve the lizards, it's London to a brick that you'll be cracking yourself when you find out what getting off at Redfern means. Books like this are as rare as rocking horse poop and it's no good arguing the toss about that. Stone the crows, have a fair suck of the sav!