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A guide to restoring trust in broken relationships from a renowed couple’s therapist. Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.
In this collection, published for the first time, we follow Harry S. Truman and Dean Acheson, two giants of the post-World War II period, as they move from an official relationship to one of candor, humor, and personal expression. In these letters, spanning the years from when both were newly out of office until Acheson's death at age 78, we find them sharing the often surprising opinions, ideas, and feelings that the strictures of their offices had previously kept them from revealing. They felt a powerful need to keep in touch as they viewed with dismay what they considered to be the Eisenhower administration's fumbling of foreign affairs and the impact of Joseph McCarthy. After Kennedy won in 1960, they discussed Acheson's reluctant involvement in the Cuban missile crisis and the Allied position in Berlin--From publisher description.
"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships"--
The best-selling author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships explains how to build trust—the essential ingredient in successful relationships—in spite of fear or past betrayals Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner. Daring to Trust explores the importance of trust throughout our emotional lives: how it develops in childhood and how it becomes an essential ingredient in healthy adult relationships. It offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include: • How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them) • Why we fear trusting • Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others • How to know if someone is trustworthy • Naïve trust vs. healthy, adult trust • What to do when trust is broken Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.
The powerful, dramatic story of how a successful Hollywood set designer whose identity was deeply rooted in his homosexuality came to be suddenly and utterly transformed by the power of the gospel. When Becket Cook moved from Dallas to Los Angeles after college, he discovered a socially progressive, liberal town that embraced not only his creative side but also his homosexuality. He devoted his time to growing his career as a successful set designer and to finding "the one" man who would fill his heart. As a gay man in the entertainment industry, Cook centered his life around celebrity-filled Hollywood parties and traveled to society hot-spots around the world--until a chance encounter with a pastor at an LA coffee shop one morning changed everything. In A Change of Affection, Becket Cook shares his testimony as someone who was transformed by the power of the gospel. Cook's dramatic conversion to Christianity and subsequent seminary training inform his views on homosexuality--personally, biblically, theologically, and culturally--and in his new book he educates Christians on how to better understand this complex and controversial issue while revealing how to lovingly engage with those who disagree. A Change of Affection is a timely and indispensable resource for anyone who desires to understand more fully one of the most common and difficult stumbling blocks to faithfully following Christ today.
An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
Examines the feelings of loneliness and mistrust suffered by trauma survivors, explores how these feelings affect personal relationships, and suggests ways of negotiating and coping with the trauma for improved relationships.
"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.
“When truth teller and careful writer bell hooks offers a book, I like to be standing at the bookshop when it opens.” –Maya Angelou Renowned visionary bell hooks explored the meaning of love in American culture with the critically acclaimed bestseller All About Love: New Visions. She continued her national dialogue with the bestselling Salvation: Black People and Love. Now hooks culminates her triumphant trilogy of love with Communion: The Female Search for Love. Intimate, revealing, provocative, Communion challenges every woman to courageously claim the search for love as the heroic journey we must all choose to be truly free. In her trademark commanding and lucid language, hooks explores the ways ideas about women and love were changed by the feminist movement, by women's full participation in the workforce, and by the culture of self-help, and reveals how women of all ages can bring love into every aspect of their lives, for all the years of their lives. Communion is the heart-to-heart talk every woman -- mother, daughter, friend, and lover -- needs to have.
An impassioned and rigorous appeal for reconnection to the land and human feeling by one of America’s most heartfelt and humble writers. When he accepted the invitation to deliver The Jefferson Lecture—our nation’s highest honor for distinguished intellectual achievement—Wendell Berry decided to take on the obligation of thinking again about the problems that have engaged him throughout his long career. He wanted a fresh start, not only in looking at the groundwork of the problems facing our nation and the earth itself, but in gaining hope from some examples of repair and healing even in these times of Late Capitalism and its destructive contagions. As a poet and writer he understood already that much can be gleaned from looking at the vocabulary of these problems themselves and how we describe them. And he settled on “affection” as a method of engagement and solution. The result is the greatest speech he has delivered in his six decades of public life. It All Turns on Affection will take its place alongside The Unsettling of America and The Gift of Good Land as major testaments to the power and clarity of his contribution to American thought. Also included are a small handful of other recent essays and a wonderful conversation between Mr. Berry, his wife Tanya Berry, and the head of the National Endowment of the Humanities Jim Leech, which took place just after the award was announced. The result offers a wonderful continuation of the long conversation Berry has had with his readers over many years and as well as a fine introduction to his life and work. “These powerful, challenging essays show why Berry’s vision of a sustainable, human–scaled society has proven so influential.” —Publishers Weekly “Wendell Berry is one of those rare individuals who speaks to us always of responsibility, of the individual cultivation of an active and aware participation in the arts of life.” —The Bloomsbury Review