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A leading authority on adoption and an award-winning writer bring wisdom and clarity to situations important to all adoptive parents. Real Parents, Real Children goes beyond the question of when to tell children they are adopted with practical advice for parents on how to talk with their children about adoption - not just once but throughout childhood, adolescence, and into young adulthood - and how to help them through the rougher points of growing up adopted. Authors Holly van Gulden and Lisa Bartels-Rabb offer insight into how adopted children at each age commonly think and feel about being adopted. They also explain how and why adopted children grieve for their birth parents and suggest ways adoptive parents can help them come to a healthy resolution of this grief. For prospective parents, the authors discuss ways to prepare themselves and the child they are about to adopt for the new family union. Throughout, the special concerns and challenges of interracial, international, and older-child adoptions are also addressed. Though written with parents in mind, Real Parents, Real Children provides the clinical information that professional therapists, counselors, and placement workers must have if they are to truly be of help to adoptive families at every stage of their lives. Real Parents, Real Children fills a real gap in adoption literature and offers confidence and assurance as well as sought-after answers to lifelong question.
"Birthdays may be difficult for me." "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family." "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me." "I am afraid you will abandon me." The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.
Originally published in 1993, this classic piece of literature on adoption has revolutionised the way people think about adopted children. Nancy Verrier examines the life-long consequences of the 'primal wound' - the wound that is caused when a child is separated from its mother - for adopted people. Her argument is supported by thorough research in pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and the effects of loss.
The essential guide to parenting adopted and foster kids--learn to create felt safety, heal attachment trauma, and navigate challenging behaviors and triggers Children who have been adopted and/or shuttled through the foster-care system experience trauma at a much higher rate than other kids, which can make it difficult for them to trust, relax, regulate their emotions, and connect with their new families. As a parent, learning how to heal attachment trauma, attune to your child's needs, identify triggers, and create felt safety is essential to providing the loving, supportive, and stable home they need to thrive. Written for parents of adopted and foster kids of all ages, this book offers resources for handling common concerns like sleep issues, food sensitivities, anger, fear, and reactivity. It also provides guidance on navigating transracial adoptions, working through parents' own hang-ups, and recognizing signs of developmental and psychological conditions. The book highlights practical strategies and provides real-life examples to address questions like: How do I help my adopted child adjust? Is this kind of behavior "normal"? How do I help my child live, heal, and thrive with PTSD?
Many adopted or foster children have complex, troubling, often painful pasts. This book provides parents and professionals with sound advice on how to communicate effectively about difficult and sensitive topics, providing concrete strategies for helping adopted and foster children make sense of the past so they can enjoy a healthy, well-adjusted future. Approximately one of every four adopted children will have adjustment challenges related to their separation from the birth family, earlier trauma, attachment difficulties, and/or issues stemming from the adoption process. Common complicating issues of adopted children are feelings of rejection, abandonment, or confusion about their origins. While many foster and adoptive parents and even many professionals are reluctant to communicate openly about birth histories, silence only adds to the child's confusion and pain. This revised and significantly expanded edition of the award-winning Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child equips parents with the knowledge and tools they need to communicate with their adopted or foster child about their past. Revisions include coverage of significant new research and information regarding the importance of understanding the child's trauma history to his or her well-being and successful adjustment in his foster or adoptive family. The authors answer such questions as: How do I share difficult information about my child's adoption in a sensitive manner? When is the right time to tell my child the whole truth? How do I obtain more information on my child's history? Detailed descriptions of actual cases help the parent or caregiver find ways to discover the truth (particularly in closed and international adoption cases), organize the information, and explain the details of the past gently to a toddler, child, or young adult who may find it frightening or confusing.
With knowledge and compassion, Caring for Your Adopted Child offers the wisdom that adoptive parents need to provide the best possible care for their children. Whether a child joins a family through domestic adoption, international adoption, or foster care, he or she may have needs that require additional consideration. The coauthors, both adoptive parents, weave professional and personal experiences with essential information on: - Partnering with a pediatrician before adoption - Helping a child transition into a family - Understanding health issues and conditions that are more prevalent in children who are adopted - Supporting a child's emotional health and attachment - And promoting positive adoption conversation as a child matures This comprehensive resource offers trusted parenting advice from a leading adoption medicine expert and the American Academy of Pediatrics, focusing on the physical and emotional well-being of adopted children.
Like Passages, this groundbreaking book uses the poignant, powerful voices of adoptees and adoptive parents to explore the experience of adoption and its lifelong effects. A major work, filled with astute analysis and moving truths.
This classic text is a comprehensive guide for prospective and actual adoptive parents on how to understand and care for their adopted child and promote healthy attachment. It explains what attachment is and provides parenting techniques matched to children's emotional needs and stages to enhance children's happiness and emotional health.
Hallie Weston has always known she's not mommy material. She's a career girl through and through. And that's never been a problem… until now. Because suddenly she's guardian for her infant niece, in charge of finding new adopted parents. Worse, she's sharing that responsibility with the baby's uncle, Nathan Brock. The help should be welcome—especially with Hallie out of her depth. Too bad the history she shares with Nate makes it impossible to be in the same house and ignore those old sparks. So they act on them and she's amazed about how good they are together. But when he suggests they stop the parent search and become a real family Hallie is torn between the role she never wanted and the man she always has.
Are you prepared to adopt and parent transracially? Transracial adoption can be a daunting and exhilarating journey. At times you feel incredibly isolated and lost. However, with this conversational and practical guide in hand, you will be able to adopt with confidence and parent with education, empathy, and enthusiasm. Whether you are new to adoption, a seasoned adoptive parent, or you are an adoptee, birth parent, or adoption professional, COME RAIN OR COME SHINE will enhance your understanding and appreciation for transracial adoption. The book contains extensive resource lists, discussion/reflection questions for adoptive parents, and advice and research from experts in the adoption field. Recommended by MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry: "We had an amazing guest on the MHP show about a year ago who is white and raising black adopted children, Rachel Garlinghouse. I love her book Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent's Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children." (from Jezebel, Melissa Harris-Perry Answers Your Questions, 4/6/14)