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Humor. Collection of humor columns from the syndicated humor writer Ben Baker.
"Imagine Andy Rooney with a Georgia accent...and a sense of humor." THE HOUSTON POST Lewis Grizzard remembers 1962. But a lot's happened since then, and he's in the mood to discuss it all, in the inimitable style that's made him the most popular social commentator to tickle people AND tick them off. From being PC to watching MTV, from rednecks to black militants, from singing the praises of the South to sounding off on the problems of just about everywhere else, nothing and nobody escapes when Grizzard shoots from the lip...and hits the "nekkid" truth every time.
Doctoring water samples to help his corrupt agribusiness employer to continue illegal dumping in the Everglades, biologist Chaz Perrone attempts to murder his wife, who has figured out his scam and who survives to plot her husband's downfall.
C.1 ST. AID B & T. 09-18-2007. $14.95.
“How Heavy Is The Mountain,” begins in 1986, as a young college graduate, Kris Westerberg, arrives in Ketchikan, Alaska for the first time. As a fresh recruit to an Alaskan touring company, he faces a summer of unknown adventure and, along with two of his companions from the “Outside,” gets to know southeast Alaska through his tour-guiding, excursions to sites of “local color” and the occasional fishing mishap. Kris returns for another summer of touring in 1987, this time to Skagway, Alaska, launching site of the Klondike Gold Rush. Here, Kris and his friends take up residence in a retired Gold Rush-era brothel and begin to dig deeply into the local experience, not only through touring but also via Slow-Bicycle Racing, sauna expeditions in the Dyea bush, Hot Red Onions and a backcountry trek over the historic Chilkoot Trail. In the summer of 1988, Kris is assigned as a guide out of Fairbanks, Alaska. He is quickly accepted into the fraternity of long-haul tour drivers as he begins to make the circuit among Fairbanks, Dawson City, Denali National Park and many other locales. Then, in the tiny hamlet of Tok, Alaska, he meets a very unlikely person: Genna, the woman of his dreams. Their ensuing romance takes them from midnight gardening to a Summer Solstice party, through a devastating forest fire and, ultimately, to a promise to spend an Alaskan winter together, in a remote cabin near Skagway. The winter of 1988-1989 tests Kris’ mettle in a wholly new way, as he and Genna explore the vagaries of living “among the elements” together. They manage to survive, and even thrive, despite indiscriminate icestorms, unheated Volkswagens and frosty outdoor privies— with their relationship, and their sanity, more or less intact. And, as the springtime finally dawns, Kris begins to realize that, rather than being “just” a tour guide, he is becoming a true Alaskan, in every sense. “How Heavy Is The Mountain” is a palette of tones, styles and themes. At once it is erudite and offbeat, informative and entertaining. Within its pages a reader encounters narrative travel writing, miniature wildlife treatises, poetry, pointless drinking songs and highly personalized storytelling. Overall, the story is told with warmth, humor and an affection for its subjects: in particular, the great land that is Alaska.
CAIN’T DO NOTHING WITH LOVE was the winner of the CIPA EVVY Audio Book Award 2014. The stories have been downloaded over 55,000 times. All stories treat the most difficult topics—death, religion, family—with sharp humor and urgent respect. LUCKY CRITTERS A lonely young woman in Florence, Alabama reacts to the sudden death of her boyfriend by connecting with his killer. Full of dark humor, Lucky Critters first appeared in The Peralta Press, the winner of its 2K2 Award. ROLLERBLADER FOR JESUS A fifth-grader in rural Mississippi who is intent on being the smartest girl in her class sees Jesus in her closet; he advises her to “Skate On.” Told with irreverent humor, Rollerblader for Jesus first appeared in Gulf Coast Literary Journal. AINT' NO COMMIES 'ROUND HERE An aging farmer in Tuscumbia, Alabama must learn to love his grown-up nephew, even if the young man is a liberal hippie freak. Ain't No Commies 'Round Here is a poignant story about the importance of family relationships in a changing world. BABY DOG, PEEWEE NED, AND THE DEVIL'S NAKED BUTT Grief over the death of her parents leads a young woman in Memphis, Tennessee to invite the Devil into her home. A story of humor and longing, Baby Dog first appeared in Hurricane Review. IT DOES NOT GOOD WHATSOEVER TO STAY BITTER A former addict in rural Mississippi must decide how to react to her family’s lack of support for her recovery program. It Does No Good Whatsoever to Stay Bitter treats several touchy topics—addiction, family strife, and sexual identity—with acerbic humor. SUPERMAN AT THE MANOR The son of a retirement home resident in Charlotte, North Carolina arrives at the nursing home's Happy Hour in his Halloween costume. Using poignant humor, Superman at the Manor explores a son’s rocky relationship with his mother. A TRIP TO THE LAWYER A college student in rural Mississippi, confused by the changes happening in her family, turns to a good-looking lawyer for advice. A story of slapstick Southern humor, A Trip to the Lawyer first appeared in RedHot ChickLit Review THE GIFT OF THE ELEPHANT In an act of radical hospitality, a man from India offers to repay the kindness of Canton, Mississippi by giving the city an elephant. A story of gentle truths, The Gift of the Elephant was nominated for Pushcart Prize: Best of the Small Presses by Eureka Literary Magazine. SHOW THE CLOTHES Can the intervention of a stranger in Memphis, Tennessee keep a disagreement between a model and a luncheon guest from turning into a cat fight? Show the Clothes is an acerbic story of young woman’s daily struggle to make a living. POCKETBOOK SYNDROME A vintage clothing seller in small-town Alabama must choose between his professional standards and the love of the young man on whom he has a crush. A biting story of difficult love, Pocketbook Syndrome first appeared in New Madrid Review. Adult Content. FULL MOON WALK A fight in a bar on Memphis’s famous Beale Street forces a young woman to change her views on her sister’s childrearing skills. An oddly told tale, Full Moon Walk first appeared in Southern Women’s Review. SQUIGGLES THE SQUIRREL A young boy at Lake Minnidaka Resort in rural Mississippi must quickly grow up if he is to protect his mother from an abusive lover who wears a squirrel costume. Squiggles the Squirrel is an unconventional coming-of-age tale that includes a first kiss. JUST NOW A confused young woman sorts out her feelings by sitting zen in an Elks Lodge in north Mississippi. A poignant story of coming to terms with sudden death, Just Now first appeared in Memphis Magazine, the winner of its Annual Fiction Contest.
The author of the phenomenal - and hilarious - best-seller Don't Bend over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes is back with an all-new collection of his funniest, sharpest observations yet. In Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night, Grizzard once again confirms his reputation as the "William Faulkner of just plain folks" using colorful storytelling and his own wonderful brand of humor to tackle such Grizzardian subjects as: International Relations: "If John Wayne were still alive, he'd know what to do to the Japanese investors - take a seven iron and run them and their checkbooks back home before it's too late and Vanna White has to learn eight zillion character signs in the Japanese alphabet to keep her job." Fashion: "Don't wear anything that features a picture of a pelican, a pink flamingo or a beer can." The Future: "I'm predicting the world isn't going to come to an end anytime soon. There's too much unresolved, like whether or not Elvis is still alive, Jimmy Swaggart can stay on television, and if there will be another Rambo sequel." Dating: "Any single white female who has to resort to taking out an ad to find a boyfriend would take a SWM who's into yodeling, Hustler magazine, Ripple and robbing convenience stores." Getting Back to Nature: "Snakes are right up there with the things that I fear most. Lightning is on that list. So is flying in bad weather at night, the dentist, and revenge-minded ex-wives." People Who Cheat in the 12-Items-or-Less Express Lane: "Previously, I have dog-cussed these people and put curses on them, like, 'May your children grow up to be liberal Democrats.' I'm not going to be that mean-spirited anymore. What I'm going to do is go to the vegetable bin, grab a large cucumber, and beat them about the head and shoulders with it." Lewis Grizzard offers his views on everything from politics, religion, sex and golf to the largest condom heist in history, proving he is wittier and more outrageous than ever. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night shows why the South's most popular humorist is now America's most popular funny man.
Definitions and quotations, mainly of localisms, regionalisms, provincialisms, accompanied by examples of use, date and place.
You see a working dog in a cape and you wonder: Can I pet him? How did he get to be so well-trained? Is he happy? In Let the Dogs Speak! four puppies tell their funny, suspenseful, and heartwarming tales of just how it all goes down as they train for the opportunity to be service dogs for Canine Companions for Independence(r). Follow Hudson, Parker, Ross and Mars on their journeys, with each puppy providing a uniquely hilarious spin on things. Which of the four dogs will make it? Readers can't help but root for the pups to succeed and graduate as service dogs. "Woof! These stories will touch your heart!" - Hanlee, Canine Companions Hearing Dog "A must read for all Working Breed dogs like myself " - Meeshka, Siberian Husky - Meeshka World "Wow! I never knew there were other dogs that worked to help peoples and didn't just herd the sheepie things!" Bet Ramstead, Border Collie - North Wapiti Kennels "These experiences helped me with my own challenges with my humans. A book for all working dogs AND non-working dogs. I think even cats would enjoy it." - Harley, Guide Dogs for the Blind, Puppy in Training "I love this book! It tastes like chicken." - Micron, Canine Companions Change of Career dog, Raising a Super Dog "All members of our pack agree that this is a book that all humans should share with their dogs! And vice versa!" - Turbo, Siberian Husky - World of Turbo "This book is to working dogs what The First 48 is to police work." Pella, Canine Companions Facility Dog, Aurora Colorado Police Department "I can't wait for the movie version. I do cameos." - Blaze III, Canine Companions Breeder Dog, Santa Rosa, Ca.