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Like many people, I have always enjoyed humour, jokes, puns and a good laugh. A few years ago I began to notice inane but humourous questions with no valid point. I enjoyed them and began collecting them where I found them, and had them forwarded to ne by friends and relatives. I also added my own, and thought others might get enjoyment as well. I also liked a good put down, and did the same thing amassing those as well. So, here they are. Enjoy!
An extraordinary modern novel in the Victorian tradition, Charles Palliser has created something extraordinary—a plot within a plot within a plot of family secrets, mysterious clues, low-born birth, high-reaching immorality, and, always, always the fog-enshrouded, enigmatic character of 19th century—London itself. “So compulsively absorbing that reality disappears . . . One is swept along by those enduring emotions that defy modern art and a random universe: hunger for revenge, longing for justice and the fantasy secretly entertained by most people that the bad will be punished and the good rewarded.”—The New York Times “A virtuoso achievement . . . It is an epic, a tour de force, a staggeringly complex and tantalizingly layered tale that will keep readers engrossed in days. . . . The Quincunx will not disappoint you. It is, quite simply, superb.”—Chicago Sun-Times “A bold and vivid tale that invites the reader to get lost in the intoxicating rhythms of another world. And the invitation is irresistible.”—San Francisco Chronicle “A remarkable book . . . In mood, color, atmosphere and characters, this is Charles Dickens reincarnated . . . It is an immersing experience.”—Los Angeles Times Book Review “To read the first pages is to be trapped for seven-hundred odd more: you cannot stop turning them.”—The New Yorker “Few books, at most a dozen or two in a lifetime, affect us this way. . . . For sheer intricacy and ingenuity, for skill and clarity of storytelling, it is the kind of book readers wait for, a book to get lost in.”—The Philadelphia Inquirer
The reissue of this bestseller by Bilquis Sheikh. It tells of the journey of discovery which began when a Muslim woman turned from the Qur'an and started reading the Bible. It is an enthralling story of faith and courage in the face of danger and difficul
In The Business of the 21st Century, Robert Kiyosaki explains the revolutionary business of network marketing in the context of what makes any business a success in any economic situation. This book lends credibility to multilevel marketing business, and justifies why it is an ideal avenue through which to learn basic business and sales skills... and earn money.
Secrets, deception, and passion consume two pen pals in the TikTok sensation from New York Times bestselling author Penelope Douglas, now with exclusive bonus material! They were perfect together. Until they met. In fifth grade, Misha’s teacher set him and his classmates up with pen pals from a different school. For the next seven years, Ryen was his everything. She kept Misha on track and accepted him as he is. They only had three rules: No social media, no phone numbers, no pictures. There was no reason to ruin the good thing they had going…until Misha runs across a photo of a girl online named Ryen. He knows he has to meet her. But he didn’t expect to hate what he finds. Ryen has gone three months without a letter from Misha. Did he die? Get arrested? Knowing Misha like she does, neither would be a stretch. She needs to know someone is listening to her. But really, Ryen knows this is her own fault. She should’ve gotten his phone number, or picture, or something. As a mysterious vandal leaves messages in Ryen’s school, she’s possessed by the handsome new student who knows just how to hurt and heal her. But she can’t stop thinking of Misha. He could be gone forever. Or right under her nose, and she wouldn’t even know it…
Celebrating its 30th anniversary in 2024, internationally bestselling author and literary icon Julia Alvarez's In the Time of the Butterflies is "beautiful, heartbreaking and alive ... a lyrical work of historical fiction based on the story of the Mirabal sisters, revolutionary heroes who had opposed and fought against Trujillo." (Concepción de León, New York Times) Alvarez’s new novel, The Cemetery of Untold Stories, is coming April 2, 2024. Pre-order now! It is November 25, 1960, and three beautiful sisters have been found near their wrecked Jeep at the bottom of a 150-foot cliff on the north coast of the Dominican Republic. The official state newspaper reports their deaths as accidental. It does not mention that a fourth sister lives. Nor does it explain that the sisters were among the leading opponents of Gen. Rafael Leónidas Trujillo’s dictatorship. It doesn’t have to. Everybody knows of Las Mariposas—the Butterflies. In this extraordinary novel, the voices of all four sisters--Minerva, Patria, María Teresa, and the survivor, Dedé--speak across the decades to tell their own stories, from secret crushes to gunrunning, and to describe the everyday horrors of life under Trujillo’s rule. Through the art and magic of Julia Alvarez’s imagination, the martyred Butterflies live again in this novel of courage and love, and the human costs of political oppression. "Alvarez helped blaze the trail for Latina authors to break into the literary mainstream, with novels like In the Time of the Butterflies and How the García Girls Lost Their Accents winning praise from critics and gracing best-seller lists across the Americas."—Francisco Cantú, The New York Times Book Review "This Julia Alvarez classic is a must-read for anyone of Latinx descent." —Popsugar.com "A gorgeous and sensitive novel . . . A compelling story of courage, patriotism and familial devotion." —People "Shimmering . . . Valuable and necessary." —Los Angeles Times "A magnificent treasure for all cultures and all time.” —St. Petersburg Times "Alvarez does a remarkable job illustrating the ruinous effect the 30-year dictatorship had on the Dominican Republic and the very real human cost it entailed."—Cosmopolitan.com
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A modern classic of true crime, set in a most beguiling Southern city—now in a 30th anniversary edition with a new afterword by the author “Elegant and wicked . . . might be the first true-crime book that makes the reader want to book a bed and breakfast for an extended weekend at the scene of the crime.”—The New York Times Book Review Shots rang out in Savannah’s grandest mansion in the misty, early morning hours of May 2, 1981. Was it murder or self-defense? For nearly a decade, the shooting and its aftermath reverberated throughout this hauntingly beautiful city of moss-hung oaks and shaded squares. In this sharply observed, suspenseful, and witty narrative, John Berendt skillfully interweaves a hugely entertaining first-person account of life in this isolated remnant of the Old South with the unpredictable twists and turns of a landmark murder case. It is a spellbinding story peopled by a gallery of remarkable characters: the well-bred society ladies of the Married Woman’s Card Club; the turbulent young gigolo; the hapless recluse who owns a bottle of poison so powerful it could kill every man, woman, and child in Savannah; the aging and profane Southern belle who is the “soul of pampered self-absorption”; the uproariously funny drag queen; the acerbic and arrogant antiques dealer; the sweet-talking, piano-playing con artist; young people dancing the minuet at the black debutante ball; and Minerva, the voodoo priestess who works her magic in the graveyard at midnight. These and other Savannahians act as a Greek chorus, with Berendt revealing the alliances, hostilities, and intrigues that thrive in a town where everyone knows everyone else. Brilliantly conceived and masterfully written, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is a sublime and seductive reading experience.
Sarah Stevens is a woman with many distinct qualities. Skilled at running large households smoothly and efficiently, she is also a trained bodyguard and expert marksman - indispensable to her current employer, an elderly judge who has hired her as both a companion and a protector. Then one night she thwarts a burglary in progress, a courageous act that rewards Sarah her requisite 'fifteen minutes of fame' with the local press. But the exposure is enough to catch the attention of a tortured soul who, unbeknownst to Sarah, will stop at nothing to have her for himself. Sarah's perfectly ordered life is shattered when tragedy strikes: her beloved employer is brutally murdered. The detective investigating the case, assures Sarah that she is not a suspect. Until lightning strikes twice. There's a second killing - and this time, despite a lack of evidence connecting her to the crime, Sarah cannot escape the shadow of guilt. The only option left for Sarah is to carry on with her life. But she doesn't realise that a deranged stalker is luring her into an elaborate trap . . . one in which she, once ensnared, might never escape...
Whether you need full-text search or real-time analytics of structured data—or both—the Elasticsearch distributed search engine is an ideal way to put your data to work. This practical guide not only shows you how to search, analyze, and explore data with Elasticsearch, but also helps you deal with the complexities of human language, geolocation, and relationships. If you’re a newcomer to both search and distributed systems, you’ll quickly learn how to integrate Elasticsearch into your application. More experienced users will pick up lots of advanced techniques. Throughout the book, you’ll follow a problem-based approach to learn why, when, and how to use Elasticsearch features. Understand how Elasticsearch interprets data in your documents Index and query your data to take advantage of search concepts such as relevance and word proximity Handle human language through the effective use of analyzers and queries Summarize and group data to show overall trends, with aggregations and analytics Use geo-points and geo-shapes—Elasticsearch’s approaches to geolocation Model your data to take advantage of Elasticsearch’s horizontal scalability Learn how to configure and monitor your cluster in production
I gave her my heart, but she broke it, so now I'll give her my rage. I never considered the possibility of us crossing paths again. When our gazes connect an internal switch clicks on. The last words she spoke to me whisper through my mind like a mantra, causing the sleeping beast to come roaring to life with a taste for her blood. I need her to bend to my will, so I make her an offer she can't refuse. Once my desire has been fed, I'll toss her away like a piece of garbage right after I destroy her, reducing her to nothingness. She'll regret the day she dared to betray me. Her debt must be repaid in pain and I will not rest until I have my pound of flesh. Karma is a bitch that has finally come for her and it's hungry for retribution.