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The complete collection of the World's Greatest Dad Jokes is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling. With hundreds of jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.
Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”
The perfect Christmas gift for new dads and expecting fathers! A punderful resource of the funniest dad jokes that every dad needs in their arsenal! With over 500 brand new jokes on a range of topics to get dads ready to embarrass their children—and most importantly—embarrass them early, this laugh-out-loud book is a hilarious gift great for baby showers, holiday stocking stuffers, Father's Day, and beyond! From USA Today bestselling author Jimmy Niro, Dad Jokes for New Dads is a special edition joke book for new parents and soon-to-be fathers that celebrates dads with a full arsenal of dad jokes, silly quips, witty one-liners, and "helpful" pro tips to help them get by! A funny white elephant gag gift from any kid, wife, or partner to celebrate and prepare the new dad in their life! Includes knee-slappers like: Q: What did the big beer name its baby? A: Micro brew. I wrote a book about birds once. My publisher said it flew off the shelves! Dad Pro Tip #1: If the baby starts to spit up, turn it toward someone else.
New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
The ultimate laugh-out-loud Christmas gift for any pun lover or Super Dad out there! Q: What super power do you get when you become a parent? A: Supervision. Super Dad Jokes is perfect for all heroes out there—from the dad experts to the first-time fathers embracing their most cringe-worthy dad powers! This new edition from USA Today bestselling author Jimmy Niro has over 500 magnificent puns, stories, and anti-jokes—the best way to celebrate and laugh at dad's super (bad) joke skills! The perfect birthday gift, holiday stocking stuffer, or white elephant gag gift from any daughter, son, or partner to the super dad or grandpa who makes their eyes roll with super speed. Arm yourself against the forces of evil and good taste with this heroically funny joke book. It's time to save the world, one joke at a time! Includes knee-slappers like: I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it. Q: What is the sleepiest fruit? A: Napricot. "Dad, do you want a box for your leftovers?" "No, but I'll wrestle you for them!"
Dad will finally be able to kick back, laugh, and relax with this entertaining two-in-one book filled with jokes and word search puzzles. Q: What do you call a person who is happy on a Monday? A: Retired! Me and this recliner? Oh yeah, we go way back. No man cave is complete without these fun and games for Dad! This hilarious two-in-one book is filled with great dad jokes and word search puzzles, a perfect gift for Father’s Day, birthdays, holiday stocking stuffers, and more. Hundreds of jokes—including one-liners, knock-knock jokes, and puns—complement more than 50 clever word searches to keep Dad’s brain sharp and filled with smile-inducing (and maybe sometimes groan-worthy) wordplay. Plus, it’s all family-friendly, so dads of all ages can enjoy this witty take on life, fatherhood, work, and so much more.
Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!
Lots of pun books claim to have hundreds of puns, but they really just offer a few dozen good ones mixed in with other types of jokes or quotes. This book actually contains over 500 excellent and original puns: It's real, it's quality, and it's rather large indeed. What more do you need?
The perfect gift for a 50-year-old dad! Just because you're a fifty year old dad doesn't mean you shouldn't be improving your dad jokes game. This excellent book of dad jokes is, at the same time, both pretty punny and pretty awful. Now you can be a perfect pain in the neck at the next family gathering or party when you spring these bad dad jokes on everyone. But why wait until then? These great one-liners and wordplay jokes are perfect for the dinner table, a long car ride with kids, business meetings, toasts, or when you want to impress (or not impress) the people around you. Read these jokes straight through, skip around, or play the Try Not To Laugh Dad Jokes game. Every good dad knows - bad dad jokes are just how you and eye roll! Joke book includes: Over 200 dad jokes, puns and wordplay 6"x9" size perfect for handling and bookshelves Large print for easy reading