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Why are mountain ranges funny? Because they're hill areas. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Garbage collectors don't need formal education to get hired. They pick it up as they go along. That awkward silence that left you longing for an awkward joke - make the moment less awkward. That one coworker that rattles off knee slappers with a breeze - now you can be her! It's your turn to give the jokers in your life (friends, dads, moms, uncles, aunts, siblings, spouses, neighbors) their own embarrassingly cringey eye roll. Maybe you need a chuckle. Or your friend does. Your friend definitely does. Yep, and your dad. Father's Day is coming up. Get them a copy! From groans to trombones we've collected, created, and curated the best dad jokes. 1001 of them to be exact (technically a lot more). And... edited for content! (One of our editors had a perfect score on the GMAT writing portion and creates content professionally got your eyes rolling already). We wanted a great dad joke book and read critical reviews and thought - why not make our own! We took notes, removed duplicates, and leaned on grammar sticklers. We also tried to tone down the religion/politics/drugs/sex stuff - but kept some edge (watch for uncle jokes book). Still not ready to buy? You don't want to commit. That's cool. Click on the author link by the title and check out our Express Edition for just a dollar/euro/pound. Or, check out all of the jokes in each of four sections for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription! Wait, who are you again? So, yeah. Years ago, the genesis of the jokes... We didn't know, but a cascade of events would take us from devilishly charming unbridled singles to diaper changing, tantrum calming, homework assisting, bug killing dads (and moms). Somehow we got from cruising the late night bar/club/festival scene to towing babies/toddlers/kids to happy hours with our supportive partners before rushing home to crash (hopefully after the kids). Along the way, corny (successful!) pickup lines morphed into dad jokes as we picked up a few responsibilities, lost a little hair, and added a few pounds/kilos. Really, though, our jokes are for everyone. You don't have to be a dad (or mom) or even like kids (sometimes we don't!) to enjoy, obvs. We hope a bit of humour will brighten your days...
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”
The perfect gift for any Dad who loves telling jokes and making everyone laugh! (cough cough) A fantastic novelty gift for Fathers day, Birthdays & Christmas. Clean family friendly jokes. The first page has space for you to write a special message, an ideal alternative to a card. Please note this book is not a joke book about Dads. It is a joke book full of Dad jokes. A Dad joke can best be described as an embarrassingly bad joke. Often demonstrated during special occasions & makes the family wince. This book will be a jolly old laugh for your old chap, but not so much for you. Please also note: No refunds will be given due to any embarrassment this book will cause you or if your eyes get sore from constant eye rolls.
New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
This book is for Dads and kids everywhere who love bad jokes, really bad dad jokes, dad jokes and pranks, groaners, and one-liners. These are the more than 700 awesome dad jokes that Mom just shakes her head at, while the kids - and Dad - are howling. Inside, you'll find these gems: - Did you hear about the man who swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles? His next trip to the bathroom spelled disaster. - What's a baker's favorite type of joke? Cinnamon puns.- What kind of shoes do plumbers wear? Clogs.- The little girl asked her mother, "did you want a little girl or a little boy?" Her mother replied, "what I wanted was a backrub."There are animal jokes, jokes about kids, Christmas and Halloween jokes, food jokes, and jokes just for kids. How about love, marriage, and divorce jokes, as well as jokes about music, work, technology, and vices? So, if you like jokes for kids, funny bad jokes, and want to help your Dad up his joke game, or you just love cheesy Dad humor, this is the book for you and your Dad.
A collection of the very best jokes from the hilarious Instagram account @dadsaysjokes - so bad they're good. From the most-followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes, comes a collection of hilariously cheesy jokes that will leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. This is the perfect gift for dads who want to expand their repertoire and anyone who fancies reminiscing about a childhood full of these no-nonsense 'bad' puns. Here are a couple of tasters: Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose. Q: Are you today's date? A: Cuz you're 10/10.
Bring out the groans with Really Bad Dad Jokes! Do you enjoy making puns about the most random things you can think of? Do you enjoy inducing embarrassment and eye-rolling from your family? Do you often crack yourself up with your own jokes? Then Really Bad Dad Jokes is for you! In this follow-up to Dad Jokes, you’ll find a multitude of the ultimate dad jokes, such as: If prisoners could take their own mug shots, would they be called cellfies? Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. . . but catscan! What did one plate say to the other? “Lunch is on me!” What does a martial arts expert drink? Kara-tea And many, many more! With over 400 unbearably funny puns, quips, and one-liners, Really Bad Dad Jokes is your secret to mastering one of the most groanworthy arts of being a dad.
Another terrific compilation of jokes in the hugely successful series of Robinson Children's joke books - this one specialises in completely ridiculous and utterly stupid ones - they'll love it!
1001 Internet Jokes compiles internet jokes into a hilariously funny volume for many different types of people. Sections devoted to parenthood, men vs. women, gay and lesbian, and Canada vs. United States makes this diverse book both entertaining and readable for anyone.
A pun-derful collection of jokes and wordplay for kids This hilarious collection of puns will delight kids of all ages. Featuring all-new jokes and accompanied by clever illustrations, The Jokiest Joking Puns Book Ever Written will keep kids amused for hours! Inside are gems like: What does a house wear? A dress. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. The birthday party was a disaster. Even the cake was in tiers. What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear.